A podcast for unapologetic black women
Black women often have to make a choice when it comes to leveling up in life, work or relationships: shrink and stay small or find your voice and live your truth unapologetically. Join host Kisha Solomon as she shares stories and strategies for black women who choose to define their lives, careers and relationships on their own terms.
the trap of 1-size-fits all
There are 2 basic approaches to living life:
The one-size-fits-all (aka, the 1SFA) approach, or
the bespoke (aka, the custom-made) approach.
The 1SFA Approach
The first, and by far, the most popular option is the 1SFA approach. For many, this option just happens to fit them perfectly. For others, it’s simply the easier option - it’s available and everyone else is doing it, plus it comes with perks and membership in coveted clubs.
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*(one size may not actually fit all.)
The Custom-Made Approach
For some, the 1SFA doesn’t work. They may be too big or too allergic to the material it’s made of, or perhaps they simply decide to opt out. These people end up creating their own ‘garments’ using the material and skills available to them.
There’s just one problem.
Those who chose the custom-made approach often become targets. Of shame, ridicule, discrimination, violence - a high price for any garment.
It can seem less costly to just fit in to the 1SFA garment. ‘Maybe I can just wear the 1SFA in public’ they reason. ‘I can wear whatever I want behind closed doors.’
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Side effects soon begin to appear, including:
imposter syndrome
masking
identity crisis
negative self talk
This is the trap that ensnares many so-called marginalized people:
Either force yourself into a garment that doesn’t fit or change yourself to fit the 1SFA garment.
An ill-fitting garment can change how you feel about yourself entirely .
See a tailor. Be a tailor. Just make sure it fits.
This typically means a literal or figurative modification or ‘cutting off’ of things that are essential to the shape and size of you, including your:
language
name
hair
clothing
behavior
practices of cultural significance
The irony? Doing so can make it more difficult for you to stand out when you want to. In short, when you fall into the 1SFA trap, you may lose your most strategic advantage.
The unapologetic Podcast
The Unapologetic Black Woman's Little Pocketbook of Wisdom is a collection of advice on relationships, jobs, and breaking free of one-size-fits-all through self-awareness. Delivered with a scoop of Iyanla, a dash of Deepak and a heaping of common sense, it makes a perfect gift for coming of age, Mother’s Day, International Women’s Day, graduations, or for sharing with your 'sister circle'.
Put This In Your Pocketbook.
lessons for unapologetic leaders
Browse my curated collection of articles, books and workshops for reclaiming your personal power and using your identity as your strategic advantage.