How to Tell Impact Stories: A Simple Formula
Need to tell an impact story for your project or program? Here’s a simple 4-part formula along with examples of when to use it.
if you want to tell a compelling impact story, Tell a story of change or transformation.
Stories of change and transformation take your audience on the journey from before to after. These stories grip your audience’s attention, inspire them and can even compel them to take action.
Any change or transformation story can be broken down into the following 4 parts:
Part 1 - Start
Part 2 - Decide
Part 3 - Learn
Part 4 - Transform
Using these 4 parts, you can quickly and consistently structure a story of change about yourself, your team, your customer or your organization.
One universal example I like to use to illustrate the use of this method - a method that I refer as the 4-Point Story Model - is the movie, The Lion King. In the move, the main character, Simba, goes through a transformation that can be mapped using the 4-Point Story Model.
Part 1 - The START
At the start – the main character exists in an unchanged state (zone of comfort or lack of awareness).
In the Lion King, this is when Simba is a cub protected by his father Mufasa.
02 DECIDE
Then something happens – It forces the main character to make a decision / to move away from the comfort zone / toward greater awareness.
In the Lion King – this is when Mufasa is killed by Scar and Simba runs away to live a carefree life
03 LEARN
But before they can get there – there’s a price to pay or a lesson to learn. Usually as a result of failure or setback.
Back home, Simba’s family suffers drought & starvation at the hands of the cruel leader Scar. The wise Rafiki reminds Simba of his responsibilities.
04 TRANSFORM
Finally the main character returns – a different & more expanded, mature or aware version of who they were at the start.
With his new friends by his side, Simba returns, defeats Scar. He becomes the new king and a father to his own lion cub.
When to use the 4-Point story MOdel
The 4-Point Story Model has been useful in a number of situations where I’ve needed to relay a story of how someone or something went through a process that resulted in significant or measurable change, aka, impact stories.
I often use the story model to help me bring more interest to storytelling scenarios where there’s a lot of context to be conveyed, and data alone won’t do. Below are a few examples of when I’ve used the model:
Team retrospectives, lessons learned
Leadership bio / team summary
Project start / update / closeout
Team member intro / exit
Performance assessments, 1:1 sessions
Product or service launch / new feature release
Strategic decision-making
Customer interviews
Download My Free Storytelling Ebook
Don’t know what story to tell or how to tell it? Learn a simple method for telling compelling impact stories. Create a draft of your own signature story. Download Now.
How To Tell Your Leadership Story
I enter the room filled with energy and excitement. I’m here to celebrate my friend Michelle’s achievement of having been nominated for the 40 under 40 award from her alma mater.
I spot Michelle instantly. She is dressed in a pristine all-white suit, her makeup impeccable and her short-cropped hair adding an air of chic professionalism to her look. She is commanding the table that she’s sitting at. As I approach, I can see that the other nominees and guests are buzzing around her like fireflies to a light bulb.
Without a doubt, she is owning the room.
I grab a drink, then settle in to the seat next to Michelle so I can offer my congratulations and we can catch up before the evening’s official festivities begin.
We chat about things - life, work, our families - for a little bit, while enjoying our hors d’oeuvres and cocktails. After a few moments, Michelle confides in me…
“I still have to write a statement about myself to be officially considered for the award. It’s due in a few weeks and I’ve just been putting it off.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” I ask.
“I just don’t know what to say about myself. I mean, I feel like I haven’t really done anything. Especially compared to these other people,” she says, motioning to the other nominees in the room.
“They’re all so much younger than me. And I’m a nontraditional student. I’m not on campus. I’m a mom. I’m working. Like. what’s so special about that?”
I try not to choke on my hors d’oeuvre.
“Girl!?” I exclaim. “Are you serious?”
***
Why High-Achieving Black Women Have A Hard Time telling their stories
By any standard, Michelle is a high-achieving black woman. She immigrated to the US from Zimbabwe on her own in her early 20s and has since made a successful career for herself in accounting. She was recently promoted to a senior executive position in her firm and she’s recently earned her MBA. All of this while also holding the titles of wife and mom.
Like many black women I know, Michelle has not just one, but many amazing and inspiring stories to tell about her life experiences and accomplishments. So why would she (and other high-achieving black women) have such a hard time putting something down on paper? A few contributing factors could be:
Humility as more feminine or culturally appropriate
Women of all cultures are often conditioned to downplay their achievements and not take up too much ‘air time’ with their stories or anecdotes.
Normalization of struggle, hustle, grind culture
Balancing work, parenting, school and marriage may seem like nothing special when everyone else around you is balancing at least that much if not more and making it look easy.
Thinking of achievements as story
A list of awards and achievements does not a story make. Rattling off a series of accomplishments is more suitable for a resume not a leadership story or personal bio. And chances are we’re more used to writing our resume than writing our story.
Because everybody else has a hard time with it too
I don’t think high-achieving black women have any more of a difficult time telling compelling leadership stories than anyone else, The fact is, most of us haven’t learned or practiced the storytelling skills needed to tell great leadership stories. So when we’re asked to do it, we freeze, panic or procrastinate until the last minute.
How to Tell Your Leadership Story
Focus on Your Vision
Decide what aspect of your leadership story you want to focus on. Is it your philosophy as a leader? Is it a specific obstacle or challenge you’ve overcome? Is it a biographical account of your leadership history? Once you’ve narrowed your focus, you’re ready to start constructing your story.
Understand Your Audience
Who are you telling your story to and what will they get out of it? The most important thing to remember when telling your leadership story is that you’re telling it for someone else’s benefit. The more you know about them, the better you’ll understand what they care about and how to bring that out in your story.
Define Your Main Character
As the main character of your leadership story, it is essential that you have a deep and accurate understanding of your own values, strengths and your challenges. These are the attributes you want to highlight in your story. They will help you earn your audience’s trust and build a meaningful connection with them.
The 4-Part Change Story
The most inspirational and memorable stories are usually stories that involve a significant transformation or change. To quickly structure an impactful leadership story, use the following 4-part change story format:
Start - “When I started out…”
Key story points: What were you like before the change? What did you not yet have, know or understand?
Decide - “I had to make a change…”
Key story points: What forced you to take action so you could have, know or understand more?
Learn - “That taught me a valuable lesson…”
Key story points: What mistakes did you make, what did you lose or learn?
Transform - “Which made me who I am today.”
Key story points: How were you changed? How does that change still influence you today?
That evening, I shared the tips above with Michelle, and let her know that the non-traditional parts of her story were what made her story so impressive. Her unique story of growth and change ended up being a perfect fit for the 4-part change story structure.
Tell Your Story.
Download My Free Storytelling Ebook
Don’t know what story to tell or how to tell it? Learn a simple method for telling compelling impact stories. Create a draft of your own signature story. Download Now.
What's the 'So What?' 1 Question for Better Stories
If you don’t answer this question, your story won’t make an impact.
‘What’s the so what?’ I ask this of my team members when they are presenting an idea to me or to someone else. The question really means, ‘Who cares?’
While it may seem flippant, is really a way to remind you that your story is about your listener, and that if you haven’t determined who they are and why they should care about the information, your story won’t make an impact. Nobody cares what you have to say, if it isn’t something they care about.
Download My Free Storytelling Ebook
Don’t know what story to tell or how to tell it? Learn a simple method for telling compelling impact stories. Create a draft of your own signature story. Download Now.
The 4-Point Story Model for Telling Compelling Stories
Any change or transformation story can be broken down into the following 4 parts.
What makes a story compelling? What is it about some stories that make us want to sit up and take notice or even take action?
Often, it’s stories of change or transformation that we find most inspirational or compelling. When we see a main character experience and learn from something it reminds us of our own growth experiences and can even give us a role model for navigating moments of change in our personal stories.
So, if you want to tell a compelling story. Tell a change story.
Story circles are visual structures for change & transformation stories.
www.kishasolomon.com
Story circles are perfectly suited to help structure a change or transformation story. The 2 most popular story circles are Dan Harmon’s story circle and The Hero’s Journey. Each shows how a main character goes through a series of steps to undergo a personal transformation. These story structures are the foundation for many popular books, tv shows and films throughout history.
They are, however, a bit cumbersome and difficult to remember. For that reason, I like to rely on a slimmed-down version of the story circles to help me structure compelling stories. For me, it’s the simplest way to tell a story.
The 4-Point Story Model - The Simplest Way to Tell a Story
Download my free ebook to learn how to use the 4-point story model to tell your signature story.
Download My Free Storytelling Ebook
Don’t know what story to tell or how to tell it? Learn a simple method for telling compelling impact stories. Create a draft of your own signature story. Download Now.
Any change or transformation story can be broken down into the following 4 parts:
Start
Decide
Learn
Transform
Using these 4 parts, you can quickly and consistently structure a story of change about yourself, your team, your customer or your organization.
One universal example I like to use to illustrate the use of the 4-Point Story Model is the movie The Lion King.
In it, the main character goes through a transformation that can be mapped using the 4-Point Story Model.
01 START
At the start – the main character exists in an unchanged state (zone of comfort or lack of awareness).
In the Lion King, this is when Simba is a cub protected by his father Mufasa.
02 DECIDE
Then something happens – It forces the main character to make a decision / to move away from the comfort zone / toward greater awareness.
In the Lion King – this is when Mufasa is killed by Scar and Simba runs away to live a carefree life
03 LEARN
But before they can get there – there’s a price to pay or a lesson to learn. Usually as a result of failure or setback.
Back home, Simba’s family suffers drought & starvation at the hands of the cruel leader Scar. The wise Rafiki reminds Simba of his responsibilities.
04 TRANSFORM
Finally the main character returns – a different & more expanded, mature or aware version of who they were at the start.
With his new friends by his side, Simba returns, defeats Scar. He becomes the new king and a father to his own lion cub.
When to use the 4-Point story MOdel
The 4-Point Story Model has been useful in a number of situations where I needed to relay a story of how someone or something went through a process that resulted in significant or measurable change.
I often use the story model to help me bring more interest to storytelling scenarios where there’s a lot of context to be conveyed, and data alone won’t do. Below are a few examples of when I’ve used the model:
Team retrospectives, lessons learned
Leadership bio / team summary
Project start / update / closeout
Team member intro / exit
Performance assessments, 1:1 sessions
Product (svc) launch / feature release
Strategic decision-making
Customer interviews
the sacred bundle: unwrap your team’s backstory
Learn an indigenous storytelling technique to help you and your team reconnect and remember the moments that mattered most in your journey to ‘happily ever after’
While I was doing research for my paper on storytelling & school discipline, I came across a concept called ‘the sacred bundle’.
The sacred bundle is a reference to an indigenous American storytelling practice, where a tribe would place objects that represented key moments in the their history into a bundle.
from, ‘The Sacred Bundle: Unwrap Your Team’s Backstory’ www.kishasolomon.com
The sacred bundle is a reference to an indigenous American storytelling practice, where a tribe would place objects that represented key moments in the their history into a bundle. This bundle was kept safe by 1 or 2 ‘keepers of the bundle’ - usually 1 male and 1 female from the tribe. The keepers of the sacred bundle had the responsibility of remembering a specific song or story that related to each object in the bundle. At certain tribal celebrations or gatherings, the keepers of the bundle would remove the objects and recount the stories to the rest of the tribe. This was done as a way to preserve and pass on the moments that defined the tribe’s culture and their shared histories and futures.
Organizational consultant Peg Neuhauser extended the concept of the sacred bundle into teams and organizations, and posed the idea that, much like a tribe, teams and organizations have key moments that define their history. She posited that there are 6 organizational sacred bundle stories that every organization has:
How We Started
Our People
Why We Do What We Do
What We Learned in Failure
How We Succeeded
How We Will Change the World
I was so inspired by this idea of sacred bundle stories, that I decided to use them for a year-end retrospective with my product team at Ford. I asked each member of the team to share an object or image that represented each sacred bundle story. Later, we gathered as a team and took turns letting each team member share their object or image and explain what it meant to them.
The exercise was so well received, that I also decided to use it for my own year end review for 2022. I shared my own sacred bundle objects and stories on Instagram.
The 6 Sacred Bundle Stories of a Team
1. How We Started
2. Our People
3. Why We Do What We Do
4. What We Learned in Failure
5. How We Succeeded
6. How We Will Change the World
Why Use Sacred Bundle Stories?
The sacred bundle exercise made for a much-needed alternative to the typical year-end review or retrospective. Instead of only focusing on what tasks we completed or what I personally achieved, the sacred bundle stories allowed me and my team to look back at the moments that had the most meaning for us over the past year.
By sharing them with each other, we were all able to get deeper insight and understanding to what those moments meant to the the people we work with every day. We went deeper in our conversations than we had in our other team-building sessions or our quarterly OKR reviews - we shifted the focus to our journey together, how far we’d come and most importantly… how much we had all changed and grown. It was also a great way to honor and say farewell to a couple of members who were transitioning out of the team onto new projects.
The Importance of Backstory
Understanding what brought the main character to this point is really a pre-requisite for writing stories that will engage your audience. Before we can emotionally invest in the main character and her journey, we need to understand where she’s been, why she makes the choices she does, what happened before that has shaped her into the person we see today.
The same is true when you’re preparing to write the next chapter of your personal story or your team’s story. You want to re-engage with and celebrate how far you’ve come, you also want to be sure that you won’t forget the lessons you learned so that you don’t run the risk of repeating them again. There’s also the need to re-center on your values and remind yourself what has the most meaning to you - this is how you will avoid getting distracted or caught up in trivialities as you continue to journey towards ‘happily ever after’.
Digital Storytelling & School Discipline: New Book Release!
The author proposes the use of digital storyteling to create student-centered counter-narratives that can shift the bias in school discipline and interrupt the school-to-prison pipeline.
I’m thrilled to announce that my chapter, ‘Digital Storytelling’, in the book, “Approaching Disparities in School Discipline: Theory, Research, Practice, and Social Change” is now published!
Both e-book and print editions are available for purchase and instant download (for e-book) on IGI Global’s website.
You can even read a free preview of the chapter to get a glance at what the chapter is about.
1,001 black women’s stories
My goal of recording 1,001 black women’s life stories was inspired by my grandmother, but I won’t be able to make ‘herstory’ happen without your help.
At the start of this year, one of the items I plotted and prioritized on my Life Value Map was my goal to record the stories of 1,001 black women.
The desire came as a result of having taken the time to record a series of life story interviews with my grandmother in the summer of 2020.
The experience was not only profoundly revelatory for me, it also strengthened the bond between me and my grandma. This was our special thing. Something only we shared and I felt as honored to listen as she felt to be seen and heard.
Later in the year, I was introduced to the book ‘But Some of Us Are Brave’ a collection of womanist - aka, black feminist - essays from a variety of black woman scholars and writers. One such essay, entitled, ‘Debunking Sapphire: Toward a Non-Racist and Non-Sexist Social Science’ by Patricia Bell-Scott, highlighted the lack of ‘everyday black women’s stories’ in the overall study of black women and black women’s histories.
“Proponents… have concentrated almost exclusively on the lives of nationally known Black women. Implicit in this “life and times” approach is a class bias. The prevailing or resulting impression is that Black working-class or low-income women are inconsequential to the American experience. All this is not to say that the lives of prominent Black women are not important; however, their lives represent only a few of the least generalizable circumstances that Black women have experienced. Most Black women have not been able to rise to prominence.”
The essay was written in 1977, the same year I was born. And 43 years after its writing, I can see that there’s still a lack of celebration of the ‘everywoman’s’ story in black media and literature, even in black families.
Much of the details of my womenfolk’s stories were never shared with me, but within them are the seeds of my own story. Any path that I chart to success or other destinations will be a continuation of their stories, but what I’ve often been encouraged to do is to look outside of my family and latch on to the stories of prominent or notorious black women as either templates for me to follow or emulate, or cautionary tales on what I should avoid.
It wasn’t until I was able to hear my grandma’s stories about her upbringing and values, her struggles and sorrows, her triumphs and adventures, that I could truly give a name to some of the shadow or not-fully-visible parts of myself and my own story. My process of self-actualization (i.e., becoming my authentic self) and self-definition would be unnecessarily difficult or even impossible if I did not ‘go back and fetch it’.
And this experience of loving compassion for another’s story leading to loving compassion for one’s own story is the experience I want to share with as many other black women as possible.
The reason for the goal specifically being 1,001 is two-fold:
It seemed a number that was big enough to scare me a little, while still being achievable, and
It was inspired by the legendary heroine of 1,001 Arabian Nights, Scheherazade. A woman who literally saved her own life through her storytelling.
So! To accomplish this slightly-scary-but-still-achievable goal, I need your help.
I’m asking for you to help me achieve this goal by recording the life story of an elder black woman family member (preferably, for the reasons stated above) or any black woman that you know and would be willing to interview, listen to and honor via this act of love.
I understand that the telling of one’s personal story is an intimate or even private event, so I won’t ask for you to share the recorded stories with me - though you are certainly welcome to! - instead, I will measure success or progress towards this goal by the number of ‘story pledges’ I receive.
Not a perfect metric, but it’s one that respects the process more than the goal.
For all those who take this pledge, I will provide support in the form of:
Step-by-step instructions and guides on how to prepare for the recording, what questions to ask, and how to interview your subject(s),
Guidance on how to use the StoryCorps app or site as a completely free tool for recording your interview AND a way to have your story archived at The Library of Congress!
My personal participation as an interviewer or facilitator, if you would like your own story heard and recorded, or if you feel like you could use an unrelated person to help bring out the story of a close relative (full disclosure: there will be a small fee to cover my opportunity cost)
So - will you help me reach my goal?
all you need to worry about bringing
“I can’t go to dinner tonight,” I told Yasmin with an exasperated look on my face. “I’ve got too much to do before I leave tomorrow.
“What? Aren’t you already packed?” She questioned.
“Well, yeah. But I’ve still got to look up all the directions to the places I’m going to be staying and make sure I know how to get from each place to the next.”
Yasmin started laughing uproariously. “Oh, come on!” She said between laughs. “You know how to read. When you get to wherever you’re going, you can read the signs and maps in the train stations. No pasa nada, Kisha. Stop worrying. This isn’t like the United States. It’s much easier to get around here.”
I wasn’t quite convinced, but the thought of spending a couple of hours googling transit and walking directions was far less exciting than going on a last-minute trip to have dinner at the mall with my roommate.
“Besides, the only thing you need to worry about bringing with you is tampons if you have your period, and condoms, if you don’t.”
Now it was my turn to laugh uproariously. “Ah, screw it,” I said, still shaking my head at Yasmin’s last remark. “Let’s go to dinner.”
***
I’d only been living with Yasmin for the past month or so. I’d found her ad for the room only 3 days after I’d arrived in Spain. I was nervous as hell when I called the number on the ad. My high-school Spanish was shoddy at best, but I’d looked up and practiced several of the terms I’d need to inquire about and eventually rent a room. Yet when Yasmin had answered the phone, one of the first questions out of my mouth was, ‘Hablas ingles?’ Thankfully, her answer was an enthusiastic ‘Yes!’
Aside from that stroke of good fortune, her place – a 3 level traditional Spanish style townhome in a gated middle class neighborhood of Marbella – was much nicer than any of the other apartments I had seen during my hunt. Plus, Yasmin and I were closer in age (she was 30, I, 36) than any of the other potential roommates I had met. She had grown up in the area, and the house we lived in actually belonged to her parents. After having lived in other parts of Spain and in Germany for many years, she had returned to Marbella a few months ago to start working alongside her sister in the family law practice. Perhaps the most fortunate coincidence of all was the fact that even though Yasmin was technically Spanish by birth, her father was Iranian and her mom was German. In many ways, this made her as much of a foreigner as I was, and we would often trade stories about how irritating the close-minded habits and customs of many of the Spaniards were for both of us.
Like most Europeans, Yasmin was a serious traveler, even a bit of a nomad, you might say. In addition to her time living abroad, she had visited most of Western and Eastern Europe, parts of Northern Africa and the Americas, and had friends from all over the globe, of various ethnic backgrounds, and of varying sexual orientations. I could tell she was as thrilled to have me – a somewhat quirky black American woman as a roommate as I was to find probably the one Spanish woman in town who spoke fluent Spanish, English, and German and whose short, curly hair nearly mirrored my own curly natural ‘do. Occasionally, however I felt her German side was a little too cool and reserved compared to my often carefree, nonchalant nature. Still, we got along well, and when I decided to take advantage of my first long break from school by doing my own one-woman multi-city tour, she was the first person I sought for advice.
“Ok. So I think I’ve got my plan mapped out for the puente at the end of the month,” I shared with Yasmin one evening as she was prepping a quick dinner.
“Good! Where did you finally decide to go? Amsterdam? Brussels? Paris?” She queried.
“Pues, the cheapest flights I found were for Barcelona, Amsterdam, and London. So I’m going to do 2 days in each, and I may spend a final night in Malaga to catch some Carnival activities on the way back in.”
“Ooooh!” She crooned, “That’s great, Kisha! Have you already bought the flights?”
“I’m gonna finish booking everything this evening. But what do you think, are those cities cool to visit? I mean, I’ve been to Amsterdam and London before, but never Barcelona. Any ideas or suggestions?”
“Oh, you’re going to love Barcelona, I think. It’s a really cool town, lots to see and do. There’s all the Gaudi architecture, great parks, museums, and it’s a good town to make party!”
I laughed at Yasmin’s expression. Yeah, I definitely felt like making some party. It was the off-season in touristy Marbella, and our recent attempts at clubbing around town had fallen short of my expectations, to say the least.
“So where are you staying? Have you figured it all out yet?” Yasmin asked, as she munched a bite of the salad she’d just finished whipping up.
“Welll… no. Not really. That’s the hard part actually. I’m really trying to make this a budget-friendly excursion, but I don’t know how I feel about staying in a hostel. The whole shared dorm room, shared bathroom thing… eh, just isn’t my speed. I’m an old lady, not a college student, you know.”
“Hmm…” Yasmin munched thoughtfully before continuing. “Have you thought about couchsurfing?”
I crinkled my brow at the mention of the idea. I’d heard about couchsurfing from a friend of mine back home who was a frequent host for couchsurfers. Apparently, he would open up his home and his spare couch to travelers who not only needed a place to crash, but also wanted to get to know a local who could show them around a bit. The best part of it was that there was absolutely no payment involved. Unlike a vacation rental where you paid the owner of the place a rate that was typically less than a hotel, with couchsurfing, you paid nothing at all. It sounded like a really cool idea, but I had a lot of reservations about the concept – was it safe? Why would anybody let you stay at their house for free? What was the catch? Still, the idea of free accommodations and an in-the-know local was appealing, especially on my limited budget.
Frowning, I expressed my concern to Yasmin, “Ehhh…. I don’t know. It crossed my mind, but I’ve never couchsurfed before. I keep thinking that I’d probably end up chopped up and stuffed in the back of someone’s fridge.”
Yasmin dropped her fork onto her plate and doubled over laughing. My English expressions tickled her as much as hers did me.
Once her laughing fit had subsided, she replied, “Nooo, Kisha. It’s not like that. Well, I mean, you have to use good judgement and really check people out before you think to stay with them, but I couchsurfed all over Europe and it’s no problem at all. It’s really a good way to make a friend and not spend much money. You have the right personality for it, I think. “
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes. It’s more for people who are open and who like to get to know the other person’s culture and all of that. I think you would enjoy it! I made some really good friends from couchsurfing. We still keep in touch.”
Hm. If Yasmin was recommending it, maybe it wasn’t so bad. Besides, if I was really aiming to take advantage of travelling European style, maybe this was a great way to have the full experience.
“Mira!” She continued. “I have some friends in Barcelona who host couchsurfers. If you want, I can send them a message and see if they have a couch available when you will be there. That way, at least you know that someone else you know knows them. Later, when they make barbecue Kisha from the freezer, at least you will be shared by friends!” Yasmin barely finished the last words, before cracking up laughing.
I tried to resist laughing myself, but quickly caved and giggled along with her at her gruesome joke.
Kisha Solomon is an Atlanta-based writer, knowledge worker and serial expat. She writes witty, poignant stories about the lessons she’s learned from her life, work and travels. She deals with the sometimes frustrating and often humorous side effects of being black, female and nerdy. When she’s not writing working or travelling, you can find her in deep conversation with herself or her four-legged familiar, Taurus the Cat. www.lifeworktravels.com
ma annie
I wish my great grandmother hadn’t died when I was still so young. But I feel blessed to have touched her, to have known her smell, walked the floors of her little house out in the country where she made lye soap, tended a wood-burning cookstove and did all manner of hard handwork in the back yard.
I was only 5 when she left, so I don’t remember details like what her voice sounded like, or what color her eyes were, or how long her hair. I remember feelings. I remember how it felt to be near her – warm, moist, yet coarse and firm. I knew even then what it meant to be a woman of contrasts.
I remember the little girl who lived out there too. Her name? Long gone. But I remember her reddish-brown skin like the inside of pecan shells, her pigtails which hung low at the nape of her neck, while mine perched high on the sides of my head like rabbit ears. I remember the kinship we had – the mischief in both of our eyes. we would run around playing made-up little girl games in the tall grass out back, make our own social club clubhouse out of the abandoned school bus forever-parked next door. who did that little girl belong to? I can’t recall. it doesn’t matter. Our minds were not yet preoccupied with thoughts of belonging or ownership. we took such things for granted.
I remember the joy of how it felt to be wild yet loved. Of knowing that no matter how far we went, we would always be seen by eyes that knew us, that cared. and we would always have a place to return to. a place that smelled like lye soap and wet grass and wood and ma annie.
what the wizard of oz can teach you about business
“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”
That’s got to be my favorite line from the beloved Hollywood movie classic, The Wizard of Oz. I’ve heard and used the phrase a hundred times or more, but just the other day I caught the movie on TV, and got a totally new insight from the scene in which The Great Oz is exposed as just a regular man. The Great Oz, it dawned on me, fell into the same trap that many small business owners do.
Heavy emphasis on marketing, not nearly enough on infrastructure. Think about it. Everyone in Oz – from Munchkins to Flying Monkeys – knows who the Wizard is. He’s got Glenda the Good Witch sending him referrals out the wazoo. And not once when Dorothy mentions, “I’m going to see the Wizard of Oz”, does anyone reply “Who?” Obviously, his Ozness has got one helluva marketing strategy if he’s that well known in a place that’s full of so many other colorful characters.
He’s also got a pretty good brand image that emphasizes exclusivity (no one gets in to see the Great Oz, you know) and dazzling opulence. But as soon as customers come seeking his service, it all starts to fall apart. First, the great and powerful Oz makes them jump through hoops to get his service (What? You don’t take credit cards? You’ve got no website? You’re only open every other Tuesday? It only works on a PC? I gotta kill a wicked witch to get an appointment?). And even once his customers have completed the extremely difficult task he asks of them, he stalls for time. “Come back tomorrow,” he says. “I know I said that if you did this, then I could meet your need, but…”.
Time and time again, I see businesses of all sizes spend a fortune in time and money on creating beautiful presentation and packaging for their business, generating a lot of buzz and publicity, and subsequently falling flat on their faces or driving themselves insane with work, when the customers hit the door and they realize they’ve got to deliver on the unrealistic expectations their marketing created.
So, am I saying that you shouldn’t do a great job of marketing and branding your business? Nope, not at all. But I am saying:
Your marketing and promotions should match your infrastructure. If you’re marketing to the world that you make the biggest and baddest widgets on the block or that you’re the premier, most exclusive this-that-or-the-other, then dammit, you’d better have the infrastructure to back it up, or someone’s going to call shenanigans on you.
Only promise what you can deliver. Better yet: underpromise, and over-deliver. Don’t tell your potential customers that you can get their product to them in 2 -days, when you know it could take 3 or 4, or even 2 and a half days. If you think it’ll take 2 days, tell them it’ll take 3, and surprise them with the good news. Set realistic expectations, and meet or exceed them every time.
It’s ok to have limitations, just be sure to reveal them upfront. You’re a small business. Everybody knows it. There’s no shame in having a limitation here or there. You’ll be surprised how forgiving people can be if you just tell them (yes, even in your marketing) about your limitations, and let them know how you’re working to improve.
It’s not ok to have the same limitations forever. If you’ve been giving the same “we’re working to improve” line to your customers for years, eventually they’re going to get tired of hearing it. They will expect more of you. And you should expect more of yourself. Spend the time and effort to stabilize your infrastructure, or if you don’t know where to start, ask for help.
The moral of the story is: The hoodoo, magic, pomp, and circumstance of over-the-top marketing might make you a popular little business, but you’ll need to pay some attention to what’s going on behind the curtain to be a successful little business.
The good news is… you probably already have everything you need. Some brains, a lot of heart, and a little bit of courage.
And a pair of sparkly red pumps wouldn’t hurt either.
how to survive a zombie attack
The recent flesh-eating incidents in Miami and Maryland may have you wondering. The zombie preparedness kits issued by the CDC may have you questioning. But believe me, Dear Reader, zombies are real*. They are already here. And… they’re coming to get you, Barbara.
You may have even had a few run-ins with zombies already and survived those incidents based on nothing but sheer luck. Well, let me tell you, luck isn’t gonna get you to the end of the movie with all your limbs still intact. Know-how will. So, since I’d like to see you on the other side of the closing credits, I thought I’d share these 10 tips for surviving a zombie attack (aka, 10 tips for dealing with the people and situations that suck the life out of you).
Learn How to Identify a Zombie
Aka, ‘What You Don’t Know, Might Eat You’. Some folks find it difficult to spot zombies since zombies kinda look like everybody else. But it’s actually pretty simple to identify a zombie once you know how. Zombies move very, very slowly and they stumble and stagger about without any sense of where they’re going. They always seem dazed. Everything that comes out of their mouths is either a foul, disgusting mess or incoherent babble. If you find yourself in the company of someone like this, you might be chopping it up with a zombie. No need to excuse yourself. Just bounce.
Don’t Go Where Zombies Go
This can be difficult to adhere to, since zombies can be almost anywhere. But there are certain places that zombies seem to have particular affinities for, such as: places where there’s not a lot of intelligent life around (like graveyards and shopping malls); Dark, smelly places (like graveyards or strip clubs); and places where there are a lot of plump, slow-moving humans to feed on (like crappy Chinese-food buffets and South Florida). Try to stay clear of these places as much as possible.
Wear Protective Gear
Even in their decaying state, zombies seem to have pretty strong choppers. They can chomp right through bone, flesh, and organs. A full-body suit of impenetrable armor probably isn’t practical, but you can minimize your risk by protecting your most vulnerable spots from suspected zombies, namely:
Your head / brain – brains are zombie delicacies, remember?
Chest/heart – without your heart, you’re useless
Feet / hands – the two things that will allow you to either escape or fight off a zombie
Learn to Use a Weapon
Doesn’t matter if it’s a rifle, a pickaxe, a bow and arrow, or a slingshot. Get skilled at using something to defend yourself against the zombies when you can no longer outrun them. And the # 1 weapon you should learn to use? Your brain. It’s the one thing they’re after and the one thing you’ve got that they don’t.
Keep a Light on You
Zombies hate fire. Make sure you always have something on you (or in you) that burns brightly enough to send them scurrying away like roaches.
Go to a Deserted Island
Aka, ‘Go to Your Happy Place’. You ever seen a zombie swim? Me either. Find a place in the middle of a vast, deep ocean that the zombies can’t reach.
Get a Redneck Friend
If, during your zombie-fighting adventures, you encounter someone who regularly wears a cowboy hat or boots, speaks with a Southern twang, or sounds un-self-conscious saying the word ‘y’all’, stick to that joker like white on rice. A good redneck friend can be just what you need to help you survive in zombie land. They generally know how to make do in the worst of circumstances without letting it get them down; They’ve likely been shooting and killing things since they were knee-high to a Junebug; and they’re pretty much guaranteed to have a kick-ass batch of moonshine one them, which you’re probably gonna need to take the edge off. Just be sure to make sure your redneck buddy isn’t a zombie before you ride off into the sunset together.
Travel in a Group
It can get lonely in zombie land. So, if you can, find some like-minded non-zombies to keep you company. You’ve got the added benefit of safety in numbers, and you can even share strategies for zombie survival with one another. And remember, if and when the zombies attack, you don’t have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun your slowest friend.
Be Ruthless
As I mentioned earlier, zombies kinda look like everybody else. In fact, a zombie could be someone you thought you knew. Sure, that re-animated corpse looks like your Great Aunt Thelma, but it’s actually a brain-eating pile of rotting flesh. The zombie apocalypse is no time for being overly sentimental. If Aunt Thelma starts trying to nibble on your brains, don’t get all weepy and start screaming, “Why Aunt Thelma? Why!!??” Do both of you a favor, and put her out of her misery.
If All Else Fails, Blend In!
Yes, I know I said you shouldn’t go where zombies go, but in the off chance that you find yourself surrounded by them with no immediate way out, blend in. It’s pretty easy to fake like a zombie. Anybody with half a brain could do it (refer back to #1 if you’re not sure). Just be very careful with this tactic and use it only when you have no other choice. Because the longer you pretend to be a zombie, the more likely you are to end up a zombie.
*Of course, I don’t really believe in zombies. And neither does the CDC, in case you were wondering. But we’ve all encountered people who made you question that belief. You know them. People who drain your energy, people who’d chew you up and spit you out and think nothing of it, or just people who seem to be wandering aimlessly about in life without a thought for you or even for themselves. It helps to have some strategies for dealing with those kinds of people or situations, and I hope this tongue-in-cheek list of tips not only gave you something to laugh at, but also something to think about.
when I get to heaven
When I get to heaven, in a section way off to the side somewhere, I know I’ll find a spot made just for me. It looks just like my favorite tapas bar in Ciudad Real.
When I walk in, it’s full like always. And Santi is holding it down all on his own behind the bar, like always.
Though the place is blindingly white (everything in heaven is, you know. It’s the lighting.), there’s still those little piles of used, wadded up and tossed away paper napkins sprinkled along the front of the bar. Things can be dirty in heaven, too. If that’s what your heaven is like. There’s also a perfect sized space for me to squeeze into near the end of the bar.
Santi eyes me and ask-orders in that friendly, gruff way of his, “Díme.”
“Una cañita,” I reply. Almost before I’m finished saying it, he’s sliding a frosted glass filled with a foam-capped amber beverage down the length of the bar toward me. It stops neatly into my cupped palm. I know Santi’s waiting for my food order. I’ll give it to him. But not before I say hello to this oh-so-refreshing-looking beer. I gulp once. Twice. Man this watered down fizzy shit is the best cure for a hot Spanish day. It is perfection. It is life itself.
Santi prods. “Y para la tapa?”
“Rejos,” I reply without looking up.
Santi’s gravelly voice erupts like a low rumble of distant thunder, “Dame uno de REjos!”
Behind the saloon doors leading to the kitchen, hands begin to move. Grabbing the octopus legs, quickly battering them, then dropping them into the screaming hot oil. I wonder if it is the old woman or the young woman working behind those doors today. Sometimes, if it’s very busy, the young woman overcrowds the oil and they come out a little less crispy. I still enjoy them anyway. I’m only wondering.
A few minutes later, the young woman emerges and places the plate at the end of the bar. The door swings open when she re-enters. The old woman is sitting on a small chair in the small space, watching the young woman cook. The doors close and Santi retrieves the plate from the edge of the bar, then delivers it deftly to the space in front of me. Several crisp, still slightly sizzling sections of suction-cupped tentacles are splayed on the plate next to small stack of steak fries. I inhale deeply, the aroma of fresh fried sea critter filling my nostrils. I wait several patient moments for them to cool a bit before spearing one of the little legs with my fork. I bite through the thinnest and crispiest of batters into the tender-chewy flesh of the octopus. My eyes close as I savor the taste that is salty, mildly fishy and sweet all at once. For the next few moments, I, the amber liquid, the crispy fried octopus legs, and the golden creamy potatoes have our own little rendezvous at the end of the bar. At the end of it all, they are depleted. I am replenished.
After the last drag of the beer, I catch Santi’s eye.
“Me cobras, porfa?”
He waves his hand.
“Te invito, yo.”
I smile. Nod my head in deferential thanks. Then get up and make my exit. The blinding white light engulfs me. It’s one of my favorite things about heaven besides the food. The lighting. It’s simply glorious.
prickly pears
Every day, 2 times a day, I pass the house with the bountiful prickly pear bush full of fruit. And every day, 2 times a day, I covet. Tell myself, “Imma stop and knock on the door and ask them if I can have some of those prickly pears… they ain’t doin’ nothin’ with ‘em.”
Today, on the 2nd passing of the day, a man was out in front of the house, harvesting the big, plump purplish fruits. I hesitated for a moment. Do I really have time to stop? I’d told the service technician I was on my way to meet that I’d be at my house before he got there. I reasoned with myself, “At least I can slow down and holler out the window at the gent. Maybe he’ll be ok with me swinging back by later.” I slowed my car, let down my passenger side window; spoke: “I’m glad to see you’re picking those, I’ve been wanting to get some myself!” He smiled broadly. “Oh, yeah? You know what these is? You wanna get some?” Me: shocked and delighted at the ease of the invitation, pull over the car and put on my hazard lights. Hop out and deftly avoid the cars passing me to join the man pulling the ripe fruit from the tops of the cactus. The box he was depositing his harvest in was almost full. I eyed it, thinking I’d save my ungloved hands at least a little distress if I harvested from the harvest instead of directly from the plant. As I prepared my second request, the man spoke: “Yeah, I knocked on the door to see if somebody was home, but nobody answered. So….” Wait. What? This isn’t even his house!? I’m dying laughing on the inside. Emboldened by his boldness, I ask, “Can I just get a few outta the box?” “Yeah, gone head,” he cheerfully replies. I’m too far gone as an accomplice to be shy, but I restrain myself from taking too many of the fruit. “Yeen got no bag?” He queries. “Oh, I’m sure I have one in the car,” I say as I take my 2 handfuls back towards my trunk, where there is indeed a stray plastic bag inside. I deposit my pilfered booty, wave an enthusiastic goodbye to Mr. Prickly Picker, re-enter my ride and escape the scene of the crime with the evidence staining my hands.
#fortunefavorsthebold #ripeforthepickin #aclosedmouthdontgetfed #afunnythinghappened #swatl #swats #roguish