quiche recipes using holiday leftovers

Part of my holiday ritual is to visit close friends after I’ve had dinner with my own family. It’s a time for me to catch up with my non-related loved ones. It’s also a great opportunity for me to sample holiday dishes from other families whose traditions and flavors may be just a bit different from my own. Invariably, by the time I’ve finished my rounds, I’ve got more than one to-go plate piled high with Christmas dinner staples like ham, turkey, and cornbread dressing (Note: I’m Southern. We don’t do stuffing). This year, instead of letting those leftovers go to waste in the fridge, I decided I’d whip up a few quiches with what I scavenged from the multiple Christmas dinners that I dropped in on.

With a little help from some ingredients I already had on hand, I was able to make 3 different quiches. I strongly recommend you try at least one to make use of your own Christmas leftovers.

Ingredients:

2-3 cups of leftover cornbread dressing or stuffing OR 2-3 prepared pie crusts

12 large eggs

2 cups of half and half, heavy cream or condensed milk

1 tsp of nutmeg

1 tsp of cayenne pepper

salt and black pepper to taste

2 cups of shredded cheese (I had remnants of cheddar,

mozzarella, and jack in the fridge)

leftover turkey and/or ham, diced

1-2 cups broccoli, chopped

1/3 to ½ cup of sun dried tomatoes, chopped

1-1 ½ cups baby portobella mushrooms, chopped

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

½ medium onion, diced

large handful of spinach leaves

1 Tbsp olive oil

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. If using dressing, press dressing into bottom and sides of a tart pan or pie tin. If using pie crust, roll out pie crust into pan or tin. Place pan into oven and bake for 15-20 minutes or until pie crust or stuffing is golden brown. When finished baking, let rest for 5-10 minutes, then lower oven to 375 degrees.

While crust is baking, prepare egg base for quiches by mixing eggs and cream or milk together in a large bowl. Add cayenne, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Stir to combine.

Heat olive oil in a skillet on medium high. Add garlic and onions and sauté for 3-4 minutes. Add broccoli and cook for another 3-4 minutes. Add half of mushrooms, then spinach, and cook until spinach is wilted. Drain any liquid from the pan.

Turkey and Dressing Quiche:

Add chopped turkey, sun dried tomatoes, and other half of mushrooms to cooled crust. Top with about ½ cup of shredded cheese. Fill crust about ¾ of the way with egg mixture. Bake in 375 degree oven for 25-30 minutes or until firm with a slight jiggle in the center.

Broccoli, Mushroom, Spinach Quiche

Add cooked broccoli mixture to cooled crust. Top with about ½ cup of shredded cheese. Fill crust about ¾ of the way with egg mixture. Bake in 375 degree oven for 25-30 minutes or until firm with a slight jiggle in the center.

Ham + Broccoli, Mushroom, Spinach Quiche

Same as above, but add chopped, leftover holiday ham along with cooked broccoli mixture.

cheers,

k

stone soul christmas playlist

If you're anything like me, you're probably fed up with all of the treacly department store and easy listening Christmas music you've been hearing for the past month or longer. Actually, according to the graph below, it seems most of us have been listening to the same tried-and-true Christmas songs for 50 years or more.

I think it's high time we change that played-out record. Don't you?

With that thought in mind, I put together the 'Stone Soul Christmas' playlist featuring 26 tracks of soulful, funky, and bluesy Christmas songs. Have a listen:

This music selection is ideal for:

Those who love Christmas music, but want to add a little more spice to their holiday music selection.

This musical selection pairs perfectly with:

Wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve, cooking dinner on Christmas day, sipping hot toddies, snuggling by the fire, and getting down under the mistletoe.

holiday cheers,

k

photo: christmas cd cover by happy_serendipity, on Flickr

3 simple soup recipes your grandma would be proud of

"As the days grow short, some faces grow long. But not mine. Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy. It's time to start making soup again." ~Leslie Newman

As a kid, the return of cold weather meant one thing: the return of my grandma's soup. My grandmother's soup was slightly different each time depending on what leftovers remained from that week's cooking. Sometimes there was beef, other times chicken, and occasionally, only vegetables - but it was always the gut-and-soul warming concoction I needed to make me feel that all was right with the world. A big bowl of grandma's soup along with a perfectly grilled cheese sandwich equaled toe-curling goodness.

As much I used to enjoy soup eating, soup making wasn't something I ventured into until fairly recently. I think somewhere along the way I convinced myself that only grandmas could make good tasting soups, and that I should steer clear of such foreign territory. In reality, though, soups are fairly easy for even novice cooks. And they're an excellent way to make a meal that's quick, budget-friendly and full of feel-good flavor. Plus, soups are universal. Every culture has at least one signature recipe for slow cooked veggies and meats in savory broth that's a beloved dish at almost any dinner table.

The basic formula for most soups is the same. Step 1: Saute or roast aromatics and seasonings. Step 2: Add other ingredients. Step 3: cover with liquid. Step 4: Bring to a boil, or simmer until everything reaches desired texture and flavor.

As Ina says, "How easy is that?"

Here are 3 of my favorite soup recipes that any grandma would be proud of.

Lentil Soup with Root Vegetables

Ingredients:

2 Tbsp olive oil 2-3 stalks of celery 1 medium onion 2 cloves of garlic ground spice mixture (1 Tbsp cumin, about 1 tsp each of: cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, paprika) 2 cups of green lentils root vegetables: your choice of carrots, parsnips, and/or potatoes 6 cups vegetable broth or stock salt and black pepper to taste Optional (but highly recommended): 2-3 leaves of fresh culantro (not cilantro)

Chop or thinly slice all of the vegetables and the garlic (chopped veggies give a more homestyle feel; sliced veggies, a more refined one). Heat olive oil on medium high in a large pot, and add celery, onion, and garlic. Saute until onions begin to turn translucent. Add ground spices and saute for a minute, stirring constantly so you don't burn the spices. Add remaining vegetables and lentils and stir to combine all ingredients. Add enough vegetable broth to cover everything. Bring to a boil, then turn heat to low. If using culantro, add to the soup. Cover and simmer until vegetables are tender and lentils are cooked through (about 40 minutes to an hour), adding more broth as needed. Stir occasionally during cooking. Add salt and pepper to taste before serving.

Why you'll love this soup: It's very low effort. It's 100% vegan so you can feel good about eating it. The blend of spices gives an earthy Middle Eastern flavor that's exotic without being weird.

Curried Butternut Squash Soup

Ingredients:

olive oil salt and black pepper 2 medium onions, chopped 1 not-so-sweet red apple, peeled cored, and chopped 2 stalks of celery, chopped 1 carrots, peeled and chopped 3-4 butternut squash (about 3 lbs) 1 Tbsp curry powder 1/2 Tbsp ground ginger 2 tsp garlic powder approx. 5 cups chicken broth or stock special tools: blender, immersion blender, or food processor for garnish (use any or all): chopped green onions, chopped cilantro, dried cranberries, coconut flakes, chopped cashews

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Cut each squash in half lengthwise and remove seeds/pulp with a spoon. Drizzle chopped veggies, apple, and squash halves with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place chopped veggies and apple on 1 baking sheet and squash on a separate baking sheet, skin side up. Place in oven and cook until very tender (about 20 minutes for apple/onion and 45 minutes to 1 hour for squash). Allow roasted ingredients to cool. Scoop out squash flesh and add to blender or food processor with roasted ingredients, and about 1 cup of chicken broth. Depending on the size of your blender or food processor, you may have to do this in batches. Blend mixture until you have a puree. In a large pot, heat olive oil on medium high and add curry powder and ginger. Saute for 1 minute, then add squash puree and enough chicken broth to reach desired consistency. Heat on medium until warm. If you're using an immersion blender, add all of the roasted ingredients to the sauteed curry powder / ginger mixture in the pot. Cover with chicken broth. Bring to a boil, then turn heat to low. Cover and simmer for 10-15 minutes. Remove from heat and blend in the pot until you reach the desired consistency. Add more salt and pepper to taste. Serve with garnishes on the side.

Why you'll love this soup: The color is beautiful. If you're used to sweet butternut squash soups, you'll enjoy this savory alternative. You can customize the flavor and texture to your heart's content with the garnishes.

Easy Vietnamese Pho Ga (Chicken Pho)

Ingredients:

olive oil 2 medium onions 3 slices of fresh ginger 6-8 cups of chicken broth 1 tsp of fish sauce 16 oz rice noodles (or angel hair pasta) 1-2 cups cooked, shredded chicken (preferably dark meat) for garnish: thai basil leaves or chopped cilantro, sliced jalapeno, chopped green onion, lime wedges, chili sauce (sriracha), bean sprouts

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Peel onions and cut into quarters. Drizzle with a little olive oil. Place onion and ginger on baking sheet in oven. Roast for 20-25 minutes or until lightly browned. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to a boil, and cook rice noodles (or angel hair) according to package directions. Place cooked noodles into 4 separate bowls. In a separate pot, add chicken broth and fish sauce and heat on medium-low. When onion and ginger are roasted, add to chicken broth. Heat on medium-low for 15 minutes. Add a small amount of chicken and each garnish to each bowl on top of cooked noodles. Ladle hot broth into each bowl (leaving onion and ginger in the pot) and serve with extra garnishes on the side.

Why you'll love this soup: It has everything you expect from traditional chicken noodle soup with a decidedly non-traditional flavor. It tastes almost as good with or without the chicken in the soup. It's even easier to make than the other two soups above.

cheers,

k

photo: Vegetable soup by Lottery Monkey, on Flickr

photo: Lentil Soup by Back to the Cutting Board, on Flickr

photo: pho ga by jslander, on Flickr

amuse bouche: hosting a dinner party

"As W.S. Gilbert said, 'When planning a dinner party, what's more important than what's on the table, is what's on the chairs.' " ~ from, "Giving a Dinner Party (I)" in Life Is Meals: A Food Lover's Book of Days

I sometimes imagine the afterlife as a decadent feast that never ends. Only in heaven, you're surrounded by all the wonderful people you love, and in hell, you're surrounded by all the awful people you hate. The finest meal can be a misery if the wrong people are at the table. And last night's leftovers becomes a royal banquet when shared with pleasurable company. The best dinner parties are those where each person brings their own special something to the table, yet everyone shares a common trait: the ability to just let go and savor the moment.

cheers,

k

how to go on an eating spree on atlanta's buford highway

You know, you really have to be careful about the kind of people you hang with. The wrong crowd can get you caught up in all kinds of foolishness, and truly cause you to lose all sense of yourself. Such was the case this past spring when a food-loving friend invited me to join some other food-loving friends for a little dim sum at Gu's Bistro. What started as a simple weekend lunch gathering turned into a multi-hour, multi-stop foodie bender along Buford Highway.

The limits of decency (and my waistline) were definitely stretched.

---

As we were departing Gu's, I overhead some talk of going to a nearby ethnic market to check out the food court. I was game. Those with prior engagements and / or a semblance of sanity peeled off from the group. The rest of us pressed on to Assi Plaza, just up the road a piece on Buford Highway.

Beautiful Russian Easter cakes from Lana's Express. We placed an order for a smattering of items from the menu, and wandered around the market for a bit while waiting for the food. That's right. Just before Easter, and instead of fasting, we're gorging ourselves. Wanton heathens, the lot of us.

My friend Ron shows me his bowls. Not sure if he notices that one is bigger than the other. He looks so happy, I can't bring myself to tell him.

Tastings from Lana's Express include: pelmeni (meat-stuffed dumplings), roast chicken with rice and a ketchup-based sauce, and two pickled salads - one with cabbage and carrot, the other with cucumber, tomato, and dill.

Oh, what? You thought it was over? After we finish our second lunch, someone in this group of people I am now beginning to realize is a bunch of crazies, starts talking about a hot dog place nearby that has a ridiculous amount of toppings on tap, and at least 5 different types of hot dogs to choose from. When I hear my own voice answering yes to the question, "Wanna go?" I know I am one of them.

Turns out there's actually 7 different varieties of dog on the menu at America's Top Dog in Chamblee.

After all of this, we head to a Lebanese bakery in  the same plaza as America's Top Dog. We don't eat again, but a few of us take home some Middle Eastern treats for later. Ya know, just in case. No pics of the Lebanese bakery, 'cause I'm too full to lift a camera. All I can do is sit and giggle like a giddy schoolgirl.

We finally leave Buford Highway and retire to one of the crazies' backyard deck, where we lounge about like stuffed ticks and listen to our host read excerpts aloud from his favorite Szechuan cookbook. Later on, he shows us this hilarious video he recently saw on YouTube. A little video about an animal known as... the honey badger.

After the day's gluttony, I totally identify with this creature.

cheers,

k

what is a bon vivant?

I don't know where I first heard the term bon vivant, but I do remember thinking to myself, "Now that sounds like something I could get used to being called."

Or something to that effect.

I do, however, clearly recall a pass-the-time bar game I played a few years back which involved me and a friend sharing our intergalactic spy credentials (don't ask). During the round where we revealed our alter-ego occupations, I boldly proclaimed that mine was: 'bon vivant'. To which my friend replied (actually, scoffed) "That's not an occupation."

I was and still am indignant about the matter. Being a bon vivant is an occupation. In truth, a bon vivant is only ever occupied by one thing. Everything else is a diversion, or an experiment that helps the bon vivant excel in her chosen profession, which is a simple one: that of living life to the fullest. The bon vivant's trade is one that should not be taken lightly, but often is. A rare few truly commit to and excel at the task, yet the masses generally treat the pursuit of a well-lived life as much more trivial than the pursuit of money or fame, vice or romance, power or success.

And so the bon vivant that we see in literature and film is often portrayed as the wayward dilettante, or the lascivious boozer, or even the hopelessly conniving dandy. Many of those who assume the moniker in real life also assume that it affords them the right to lift their noses a bit higher in the air. In my opinion, both are miscontrued notions of the term and the persona.

In searching the interwebs for a more accurate description of the bon vivant, I came across one delightfully simple but perfectly illustrative definition.

"If you love good food, good company, good times and something really, really good to drink, then you’re probably a bon vivant. In fact, if you love two out of the four, then you are most likely a bon vivant."

The above quote is from "Are You a Bon Vivant?"  on the blog, Miss Lola Says.... Miss Lola goes on to explain what bon vivants bring to the... er, table:

"We all know at least one bon vivant. And this is how they make our worlds better:

• They bring the lightness of life with joy, laughter and gaiety.
• They introduce us to experiences and foods that we would not otherwise have an interest in.
• They help us keep the goodness of life in perspective. And we all need goodness, right?"

Miss Lola Says... features well-written articles on etiquette and common sense manners that are suitable for intergalactic spies and bon vivants alike. As bon vivants are known for their refinement, the blog should serve as a handy resource should you need to remind yourself or a less-refined associate of the appropriate behavior in any situation.

I invite you to peruse some of my favorite posts from Miss Lola:

An Excerpt from “The Correct Thing to Do, to Say, to Wear” [1941]

Putting on Airs

HINTS TO KITCHEN MAIDS by Rufus Estes

Tips for Riding the Elevator with Me.

In the meantime, I'm working on a series of posts that will delve deeper into what it means to pursue the profession of a bon vivant - including some life examples of famous bon vivants, both real and fictional. Stay tuned.

cheers,

k

photo:A Chair-i-table Event 2011 by rwentechaney, on Flickr

how to give thanks for a meal

Even though I haven't been to Mass in years, I still recite the Catholic blessing I learned in elementary school before every meal.

"Bless us, O Lord and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen."

It occurs to me that we humans are probably more disconnected from our food than we've ever been in our short history on Earth. We are more likely to consume our daily bread on the run, in a hurry, at a desk, or in a car than we are to slowly digest a slowly-prepared meal surrounded by family and friends. Often times we have no idea where the food we are eating came from, nor the name nor face of the person who prepared it. We may only give thought to the ingredients in the dish placed before us if there is either risk (e.g., allergy or religious taboo) or cachet associated with its presence.

No wonder then, that our giving of thanks before a meal is often overlooked or reserved for only the most special of occasions like, say... Thanksgiving.

I've attended my fair share of Thanksgiving dinners - with both my own family and with the extended family that I call my friends. Though the dishes on the table have varied according to the customs, traditions, and culinary skills of those present, there's been one common trait among each of those Thanksgiving meals. The prayer before the meal.

At the assigned moment, heads bow, hands reach out to the persons beside you, a moment of silence ensues before someone - usually one of the eldest, but sometimes simply the bossiest - will appoint the prayer-giver for the meal. The newly knighted - depending on their experience with such matters - will either stumble for a few moments or leap to the charge. Soon, the prayer begins.

The rest of us listen, reverently. But we only half-hear the words. We are thinking of the sumptuousness of the food spread out in front of us, we are conscious of the feel of our neighbors' hands in ours, we may briefly remember the faces of those who aren't present but we wish were there, we may feel a subtle welling of emotion at the gravity of the moment. And then, it is done. We release our neighbors' hands, and start our strategic jockeying for position in the buffet line.

At its most basic, the act of eating a meal is a purely physical experience. But a brief moment of reverence before consuming the first bite, can transform the act of eating into a kind of sensory meditation.

"Food is divine, a gift from God. With deep respect you eat, and while eating you forget everything else, because eating is prayer. It is existential prayer." ~ Osho

At Thanksgiving, the before-meal prayer is a symbolic act that says, 'this moment is special'. It reaffirms our connectedness to others, and makes us pause to think about what we are about to put into our bodies. And though most pre-Thanksgiving prayers are offered to a divine source (a fact that even my most atheist friends will let slide for Thanksgiving), mealtime prayers need not be religious, nor do they need to be reserved only for 'special occasions'.

Here is a collection prayers, sayings, and meditations that can be said before meals:

Thank you for the food we eat, Thank you for the world so sweet, Thank you for the birds that sing, Thank you God for everything.

May this food restore our strength, giving new energy to tired limbs, new thoughts to weary minds. May this drink restore our souls, giving new vision to dry spirits, new warmth to cold hearts. And once refreshed, may we give new pleasure to You, who gives us all.

"The Quaker tradition of "silent grace" before meals also works well for a dinner party with people of diverse religions and beliefs. All present join hands in a circle around the table, and are silent for half a minute or so as they collect their thoughts, meditate or pray. Then one person gently squeezes the hands of the people seated adjacent; this signal is quickly passed around the table and people then begin to eat...." from secularseasons.org

God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food. By his hands we all are fed, Give us, Lord, our daily bread. Amen.

For the meal we are about to eat, for those that made it possible, and for those with whom we are about to share it, we are thankful.

We celebrate this occasion with food from the earth. May it fill us with fellowship and add to our mirth.

What before-meal words of thanks do you give? Do you save mealtime prayers for special occasions or are they an everyday ritual?

cheers,

k

photo: A serious moment by angelina_koh, on Flickr

how to make spatchcock chicken

the-sound-table-spatchcock-chicken

I first had spatchcock chicken a little over a year ago at The Sound Table in Atlanta. The dish was most impressive because of its simplicity - cuts of bone-in chicken, with an herby-citrusy flavor and a nice char on the skin. Determined to recreate the dish at home, I searched the interwebs and discovered that the term 'spatchcock' had nothing to do with how the meat was flavored, and everything to do with how the meat was cut.

Put simply, to spatchcock means to remove the spine or backbone of the bird in preparation for oven or grill roasting. Spatchocking is actually the more formal cooking term for butterflying. The whole point of spatchcocking is to allow even cooking of both white and dark meat portions of the bird. As anyone who has roasted a whole bird knows, it can be near impossible to have juicy, fully-cooked thighs and legs without also ending up with dry, overcooked breasts and wings.

Get your head out of the gutter, please.

Since my first taste, I've spatchcocked my fair share of birds.  I even spatchcocked last year's Thanksgiving turkey - it cooked in record time and was the most flavorful roasted turkey I've ever had. Dark and white meat were equally juicy. The skin was perfectly crispy, and the under-the-skin seasoning technique I use had infused every bite with serious flavor.

Plus, I get to giggle a bit every time I tell my guests what they're eating.

Recipe for Spatchcocked Chicken

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken

2-3 Tbsp olive oil

1 lemon

2-3 cloves of garlic

salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, marjoram (or use whatever blend of herbs/spices you prefer)

1-2 Tbsp butter (optional)

Kitchen Tools

sturdy kitchen shears

latex gloves (optional) - I get kinda squeamish when handling raw chicken, so I always don a pair of latex gloves for the prep.

mini food-processor (optional)

Prepare  the seasoning mixture by combining the oil, butter, salt, pepper, garlic and herbs in the food processor and processing to a thick paste. Alternatively, mince the garlic and stir together in a small bowl with the other ingredients. Half the lemon and squeeze juice of one half into the seasoning mixture. Stir to blend. Cut the whole lemon into thin slices. Set lemons and seasoning mixture aside.

Rinse the bird well, including the inner cavity. Place the bird on a stable surface or inside of a large baking pan, breast side down. Using the shears, cut vertically along either side of the backbone from one end of the cavity to the other. Depending on how good your shears are, this may be easy or it may be pretty hard. Use a bit of elbow grease. Rock the shears back and forth to break the bones on either side of the spine. Channel your inner Hannibal Lecter. Sip a Chianti. You'll get through it.

At the end of that gruesomeness, you should have a spineless bird in front of you, and a bird spine in your hand. Save the spine for making stock, or toss it out.

The secret to really crispy skin on a roasted bird is really dry skin to begin with. If you have time, let the bird rest in the fridge anywhere from 1-24 hours. I usually stick a few toothpicks into the bird and drape a towel or paper towels over them. I don't like the idea of uncovered raw chicken in the fridge, and the towel would stick to the skin if I didn't use the toothpicks. If you don't have time for all that, just blot as much moisture as you can from the skin and proceed with seasoning the bird.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

Run your hand gently under the skin covering the bird's breast, separating the skin from the flesh. Go all the way down to the thigh area, being careful not puncture the skin. Using a teaspoon or your hands, take small amounts of the seasoning mixture and rub all over the bird, under the skin. You may have extra seasoning mixture left over. Take lemon slices and slide them under the skin. I usually place 1 slice on each thigh, 2 on each breast, and tuck a lemon slice under each wing. Sprinkle more salt and pepper all over the skin. Place the bird in a roasting pan and cook for 40 minutes to 1-hour, until done (3 tests for doneness: juices run clear; leg/thigh moves easily in socket; thermometer inserted at thickest part of breast reads at least 160 degrees).

Note: When I tried this recipe with turkey, I did not de-spine my own turkey. I bought the bird from the Sweet Auburn Curb Market and had the butcher there make a cut on each side of the spine while the bird was still in its wrapper. I suggest you seek similar assistance for a larger bird.

cheers,

k Photo 1: via Leon Dale Photography

Photo 2: via Another Pint Please..., on Flickr

Photo 3: via that.turtle, on Flickr

how to do atlanta - where to eat lunch

I've got a confession to make. I've been holding out on you. I assure you however, there was no malicious intent. I'm just... lazy. You see, I've been having some pretty fabulous (and some just alright) dining experiences around Atlanta lately, and I've just been too lazy to write about them. But the good news is, I haven't slacked off on taking some pretty fabulous (and some just alright) pictures of these dining experiences. So here's what I figured. Instead of stockpiling all these tasty little visual tidbits and pretending like I'm actually going to do each one justice with a proper review, I'll just show you the goods.

Since when has porn been about dialogue, anwyay?

---

This week's food porn features pics from some of  my favorite atlanta lunch spots.

Urban Pl8

Look at the separation on that brown rice. Yeah, you like that, dontcha?

 The Original El Taco

Only thing sad about this lunch is that El Taco only serves lunch on the weekends. Que lastima.

5 Seasons Brewery - Westside

 New Paradise (Buford Highway)

Sufi's

The sabzi is an assortment of greens, herbs, and other accompaniments to be enjoyed with flatbread. Sufi's sabzi: mint leaves, basil leaves, cucumber slices, butter, feta, olives, and walnuts.

Bocado

Bocado's burger stack is what the Big Mac dreams about being when it grows up.

 Marlow's Tavern

Seriously, is there ever a bad time for fried okra? Methinks not.

cheers,

k

7 things to do the day after getting fired

Canned. Sacked. Let go. Forcibly retired. Getting fired, no matter what sweet-sounding name you try to pin on it, is still a pretty bitter experience. Even if you're expecting it to happen (or you've been secretly praying for it to happen), nothing ever quite prepares you for the day you get fired.

Yet, in our continually uncertain economy, getting fired is an experience that more and more people are having to deal with. Naturally, most people react to a firing in an emotional way - with tears, anger, idle threats, feelings of isolation or low self-worth. But the 24 hours after you've been fired is not the time to be paralyzed by emotion, it's the time for some very simple actions that can pay off big in the long run. You can always come back to the 5 stages of grief later.

Here are 7 suggestions for what to do the day after your last day on the job.

Tell Everyone

Though shame and embarrassment at losing your job might make you want to keep the whole mess a secret, don't. Think of it this way: if nobody knows you've been fired, nobody will know you're available for new opportunities. A quick email message (or tweet or Facebook post) to your network of friends and associates saying something like, "Guess what guys, I'm looking for employment again," followed by a very brief, very clear description of what kind of employment you'd prefer, could work wonders. Many of those people that you tell will likely reach out to ask for more details. Resist the temptation to go into a long diatribe about what an evil cad your now ex-boss was, or how you never liked that filth-flarn company anyway. There will be much time for ranting in the days to come. When pressed for more deets, simply say, "I'm not in a space where I can talk about it right now, we'll have to get together soon so I can tell you all the gory details. But if you can keep an eye out for (fabulous next job I'm looking for), I'd really appreciate it."

Ask for Recommendations

Even if you were fired for less than stellar performance, there's probably at least one person you worked with who actually liked you and the work you did. Instead of avoiding them like the plague, reach out and ask for a quick letter of recommendation. Or better yet, send them a LinkedIn request, so they can put their glowing recommendation of you on the interwebs for the whole world to see. Wait. You do have a LinkedIn account, right?

Get LinkedIn

If you don't already have a profile on LinkedIn, shame on you. I'm sure it's because you were so busy with work before that you didn't have time to get it done. Well, now that that's no longer a problem, it's the perfect time for you to create or update your LinkedIn profile. Search for and make connections with your now-former coworkers. Consider this the part of the job loss chapter that you get to write yourself. You decide which characters you want to continue in the story, and how you express what your experience was like.

Update your resume

Even if you don't intend to start looking for a new job right away, it's best to update your resume while the details of your last position and accomplishments are still fresh in your mind. You may even consider putting up a free or inexpensive website to post your skills, your resume and examples of your work.

File for unemployment

Labor and employment laws differ for every state. And if you were fired for misconduct or negligence, you may not qualify to receive unemployment benefits. But it never hurts to try. Even if you and your former employer disagree about the reason for your termination, you may be able to appeal an initial denial of unemployment benefits.

Schedule some coffee dates

The unexpected change of routine that comes with a job loss can be a bit jarring. You're probably used to getting up, getting dressed and going somewhere at the same time every day. The day after you get canned, reach out to a few friends and schedule at least 2-3 coffee or lunch dates for the following week. That way, your daily routine won't be totally obliterated, and you won't be tempted to hide in your house like it's a dark cave of emotion. Plus, when you meet with your friend, you'll get to vent, rant, ask for advice and suggestions, or receive a much needed dose of cheer.

Write your own training plan

Take some time to envision what sort of job or position you want next. Spend an hour or so searching on Careerbuilder, Monster and other job hunting sites for job descriptions that are similar the position you want. This will allow you to see what sort of skills or certifications are preferred for those roles, and which ones you may need to brush up on. Make a list of 2-3 classes you want to take, certifications you want to pursue, or professional skills that you want to improve upon. In the coming days (or weeks or months), your new job will be to find and complete training classes, self-directed projects, or pro-bono gigs that will prepare you for your next job.

Let's be honest, it is statistically probable that you're going to get fired at some point in your life. Your reason for being terminated may not even be your fault. And even if it is your fault, it isn't the end of the world. Life goes on. You learn from the experience, pick yourself up, and move on to the next chapter. You aren't the only one this has happened to, and you certainly won't be the last. By taking small, immediate actions you'll go a long way in dispelling the feelings of powerlessness that may come with a job loss. And by taking those actions you'll remind yourself that, in the end, you are the only one responsible for your career destiny.

cheers,

k photo 1: You're Fired! by bjornmeansbear, on Flickr

photo 2: via jericapng, on Tumblr

photo 3: Unemployed Dad 488 by Bearman2007, on Flickr

how to do 5-day pre-holiday detox

If this holiday season is anything like last year's, it will be indulgent. Very, very indulgent. Already, my weekend calendar for the next month is jam-packed with events where hearty food and heavy drink will be the central focus. And that doesn't even include Thanksgiving.

The chances of me abstaining from this once-a-year feeding frenzy are about as slim as the chances that some portly, older gentleman will slide down my chimney and deliver gifts in late December. Translation: It ain't happening. But if I'm going to make it to the end of the year looking less like Santa Claus and more like Jesus, I've got to do something to counteract the bingeing.

I decided to reach out to my good friend Maria Bee for her advice. Maria and I know each other from our road warrior consulting days when frequent travel, frequent stress and frequent dining out was a part of our daily lives. Since then, Maria has "taken back her life" by teaching everyday slackers like me how to eat and exercise better. And believe me, this lady knows her stuff. As a former fitness competitor (Ms. Figure America Winner, 2009), a personal trainer, and a naturopathic practitioner, Maria is an expert on maintaining overall body health through proper nutrition and exercise. She dishes out tough-love-style diet and exercise advice on her Facebook page and through her blog.

Last week, I mentioned to Maria that I wanted to do a 5-day cleanse each month of the holiday season, and was looking for alternatives to the all-too-strict Master Cleanse that I've done a few times before. As luck would have it, Maria was just starting a 5-day pre-holiday cleanse herself and was kind enough to share her daily regimen with me, so I thought I'd pass it along to you, Dear Reader.

Maria Bee's Pre-Holiday 5-Day Cleanse

Upon Waking: First thing in the morning, drink  1 cup of water

For Breakfast – Fruit smoothie with vegetable-based protein

Ingredients: 5 strawberries, 10 blueberries, 1/2 banana, 1 slice pineapple, 2 tablespoons flax seed oil, 1 teaspoon spurilina, 1 teaspoon macca powder, 25-40 grams Protein powder, Ice (optional), 1 tablespoon local honey (optional) To Make: Pour all ingredients into a blender, blend well and serve.

For Lunch - Large Salad

Ingredients: Kale, purple onions, cucumber, mushroom, spinach, raisins (optional), broccoli, 1 slice of avocado, Any type of vinaigrette dressing

Drink 16 ounces of water with lunch

For Mid-day Snack (after lunch and before dinner)

Mix 16 ounces of water with a pinch of cayenne pepper and 3 teaspoons of lemon.

Drink water mixture along with a handful of almonds

For Dinner, Option #1 - Vegetable Juice (requires a juicer) If you don't have a juicer, use the veggie wrap recipe below.

Drink 16 ounces of water at dinner

Ingredients: 1 broccoli bunch (with stem), 1 handful of spinach, 2 celery sticks, 1/2 Chayote squash, 1 Chard, 2 stems of mustard greens, 2 pinches of cayenne pepper, 1 stalk of ginger, 2 lemons

For Dinner, Option #2 - Veggie Wrap (no juicer required) Drink 16 ounces of water at dinner

Ingredients: 1 Collard Green leaf, 1 tablespoon hummus, 1 chopped yellow onion, 5 mushrooms cut, 1 green pepper sliced, 1 red pepper sliced, 1/3 cucumber sliced, 3 green olives, 1 broccoli flower cut, 2 slices avocado, 2 teaspoons olive oil, 2 tablespoons vinaigrette dressing, *any additional vegetables can be added

To Make: Take the collard green wrap and rinse thoroughly, lat flat and spread hummus. Add green peppers, red peppers, broccoli, cucumber, olives, mushroom, and onion. Pour olive oil over vegetables, add avocado and vinaigrette dressing. Roll collard green into a wrap, use additional hummus or vinaigrette as a dipping sauce.

As you can see, the focus of the cleanse is raw foods, and it's a great way to boost nutrition and energy before the holidays or any time that your eating habits have gotten out of wack. The supplements and special ingredients listed in Maria's recipes can be found at most health food stores.

For additional foods that will help you with your pre-holiday clearance, check out Maria's post: Top 10 Cleansing Foods.

to your health,

k

photo:Diet Police fridge magnet by lydiashiningbrightly, on Flickr

amuse bouche: stay flexible

Learning how to deal with tough times and uncertainty can be difficult. But adaptability and flexibility certainly help. That's the reason why cats always land on their feets - they have flexible spines. People who always land on their feet do so because they have flexible mindsets and attitudes. Instead of getting stuck on one way to do something, one way to learn, one way to be, flexible people arrange the pieces they've been given in each situation to create an optimal result.

cheers,

k

how to make a good woman

"A woman is an important somebody and sometimes you win the triple crown: good food, good sex, and good talk. Most men settle for any one, happy as a clam if they get two. But listen, let me tell you something. A good man is a good thing, but there is nothing in the world better than a good good woman. She can be your mother, your wife, your girlfriend, your sister, or somebody you work next to. Don't matter. You find one, stay there."  ~from Toni Morrison's "Love"

After reading this passage from Toni Morrison's novel, "Love", I knew I'd found a morsel that would become a permanent part of my personal collection of life recipes.

The quote comes from the character, Sandler - a concerned father who is schooling his teenage son on what to look for in a woman. Fortunately, it's an easy-to-remember recipe that includes 3 very simple ingredients.

Good Food

I don't care how old-fashioned or outmoded I sound saying it, I'm going to say it anyway. If you're a woman, you should know how to cook something. I'm not suggesting that you channel Betty Crocker and prance around the kitchen all day in frilly aprons and heels making biscuits and pies from scratch (but, if that's your thing, by all means, go for it!). But every woman should have at least 3 solid dishes that she can whip up at a moment's notice. That means not having to consult a cookbook or a recipe, but being able to prepare a simple, elegant meal from memory - preferably with easy-to-find ingredients. As they say, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Even in non-romantic situations, being able to cook something tasty for someone you care about (whether it be your man, your mom, your kids, or your friends) is not only a useful talent, but also a satisfying and rewarding experience.

Good Sex

I suppose this one should go without saying, since we're all sexual creatures. But since everyone has different tastes and preferences, what exactly qualifies as good sex? Whether you're the swing-from-the-rafters type or more of a missionary girl, I think that at the root of it all, a woman with 'good sex' is a woman who is equally skilled at giving and receiving pleasure.

Good Talk

I've heard numerous tales from my guy friends about dates or relationships with drop-dead gorgeous girls that they found extremely attractive... until they opened their mouths. A good woman cultivates interests in things that are worth talking about. A good woman stays abreast of current events (no, not just celebrity gossip), a good woman has a bit of 'game'. A good woman knows how to give a compliment.

Recipe Notes:

Noticeably missing from this recipe for a good woman are inessential ingredients like: big boobs, long hair, thick legs, fat booty, expensive clothes, killer makeup, and similar decorative toppings.

Admittedly, a good woman who comes with one or more of these inessential ingredients will be just as fulfilling and even sweeter than the original recipe. However, a woman that possesses inessential ingredients yet lacks all of the good woman ingredients may be sweet, but won't be nearly as filling. And really... who needs empty calories?

4 cocktail recipes for halloween

For me, Halloween marks the official start of the holiday season. So let's celebrate the spirit of the season with some seasonal spirits, shall we?

Here are 4 Halloween-themed cocktail recipes that will get your holiday season off to a spirited start.

Halloween Cocktail Recipe #1 - Persephone Returns to Hades

halloween-cocktail-persephone

Any drink that involves a muddler deserves a long name just so people are aware of how much work goes into the dang thing. Plus, with winter approaching, the myth of Persephone and her underworld lover is fitting.

Ingredients:

1 part pomegranate juice

1 ½ parts gin or vodka

¾ part grenadine or simple syrup

2-3 mint or basil leaves

squeeze of fresh lime

To make: Add mint or basil leaves to glass, cover with grenadine. Muddle together. Add ice and remaining ingredients. Shake until chilled.

Serve with a cocktail straw in a high or lowball glass. Garnish with mint or basil leaves, cherry, mini plastic pitchfork or other hellish decorations.

Halloween Cocktail Recipe #2 - Bitches’ Brew

Ingredients:

port wine

stout beer

To make: Fill glass 1/3 of the way with port. Fill remainder of glass with chilled stout. Serve in a lowball glass or stemmed glass.

Halloween Cocktail Recipe #3 - Queen of the Damned

Ingredients:

1 part raspberry vodka OR vodka + raspberry liqueur

1 part coffee liqueur

2 parts champagne

red sugar for rim

To make: Shake first two ingredients together with ice, strain and serve in a martini glass rimmed with red sugar or with bloody candy rim. Fill rest of glass with champagne. Garnish with slice of blood orange (optional).

Halloween Cocktail Recipe #4 - Cool Autumn Breeze

Ingredients:

1 part gold rum

1 part sweet tea

splash of sour mix

squeeze of lemon

To make: Combine all ingredients  in a lowball glass over ice. Stir well. Garnish with lemon or orange wedge.

cheers,

k

sipping mummy photo by: Passetti, on Flickr

how to find true love

“By the time you are ready to explore the world of love, you are filled with so much rubbish about love that there is not much hope for you to be able to find the authentic and discard the false.”  ~Osho

Relationships are hard. Yes, I know that’s not exactly a groundbreaking statement. But it’s a fact. A fact that I’ve been pondering a lot lately as I witness the many stages of relationships being experienced by close friends and acquaintances.

There are those friends who are engaged or newly married, others who are separated or newly divorced, friends who are experiencing the highs and lows of dating, friends who are content playing the field, friends who are happy being alone. There’s even my own relationship, which many - especially those who know me as a hot-headed, commitment phobic, and often contrary woman - are quietly amazed has lasted as long as it has.

Though my associates and I are all experiencing different stages of relationship, we all share a common trait. None of us have a clue what we’re doing. We’re all just guessing. Rolling a dice and hoping that we don’t lose too much in the process, or crap out completely.

Truth is, most people tend to follow a pretty familiar script when it comes to relationships. Our expectations of gender roles, relationship timelines, and the ways love should be shown have been stamped onto our psyches over years of conditioning from families, movies, romance novels, r&b love songs. Most of us will never question established ideas of love and romance. Even when something deep inside of us starts to suspect that we aren’t 100% comfortable with those age-old ideas. So without any clear alternatives and with few successful real-life examples to follow, we go on trying to fit ourselves and our significant other into relationship models and behaviors that are considered normal and acceptable. On the rare occasion when one does question and decides to diverge from the “normal” path, one finds that there are no road signs, no footprints to follow, just a wide open wilderness that requires the fearless instincts of a trailblazer to navigate.

Thankfully, even trailblazers have certain tools to help them find their way.

I recently came across a book entitled “Being in Love: How to Love with Awareness and Relate Without Fear” written by Osho. Since being introduced to Osho’s writings a few years ago, he’s quickly become one of my favorite philosopher-teachers, and this book is  testament as to why.

I’ll be frank. You may not agree with everything in this book. Some of it may even upset you. But I guarantee you will find some common-sense wisdom and thoughtful insights that will challenge you to think differently about how you love yourself and others and may even cause a complete paradigm shift for you. Fortunately, Being in Love (and every other Osho book I’ve read) is one of those books that you don't have to read from beginning to end to get the benefit of it; you can just pick up and start reading from anywhere.

Here are just a few snippets from Osho’s Being in Love:

What is Love

"It is almost like somebody asking, “What is food?” Would you not be surprised if somebody came and asked you that question? Only if somebody has been starved from the very beginning and has never tasted food would the question be relevant. It is the same with the question “What is love?”

Love is the food of the soul, but you have been starved. Your soul has not received love at all, so you don’t know the taste. So the question is relevant, but it is unfortunate. The body has received food so the body continues; but the soul has not received food so the soul is dead, or is not born yet, or is always on its deathbed."

Parental Love

"Just think of your own parents…. They are victims just as you are victims; their own parents were the same. And so on…you can go back to Adam and Eve and God the father! It seems that even God the father was not very respectful to Adam and Eve… he started commanding them, “Do this” and “Don’t do that.” He started doing the same rubbish that all parents do… each parent threatens to expel the child, to throw him out. “If you don’t listen, if you don’t behave, you will be thrown out.” Deep down the child starts hating the parents because he is not respected; deep down he starts feeling frustrated because he is not loved as he is. He is expected to do certain things, and only then will he be loved.

And children learn the ways of their parents—their nagging, their conflict. Just go on watching yourself. If you are a woman, watch—you may be repeating, almost identically, the ways your mother used to behave…. If you are a man, watch: What are you doing? Are you not behaving just like your father? Watch and see when your mother is there, functioning through you—stop that, move away from it. Do something absolutely new that your mother could not even have imagined."

The Perfect Man or Woman

"That idea too has been put into your mind—that unless you find a perfect man or a perfect woman you will not be happy…. A loving person simply loves, just as an alive person breathes and drinks and eats and sleeps…. You don’t say, “Unless there is perfect air, unpolluted, I am not going to breathe.” You go on breathing even in Los Angeles; you go on breathing in Mumbai. You go on breathing everywhere, even when the air is polluted, poisoned.... People who demand perfection are very unloving people, neurotic. Even if they can find a lover they demand perfection, and the love is destroyed because of that demand."

"Love ordinary people. Nothing is wrong with ordinary people. Ordinary people are extraordinary! Each human being is so unique; have respect for that uniqueness."

Gender Roles in Relationships

“Watch people, see how they take each other for granted. If your wife prepares food for you, you never thank her. I’m not saying that you have to verbalize your thanks, but it should be in your eyes. But you… take it for granted—that is her work. Who told you that? If your husband goes and earns money, you never thank him. You don’t feel any gratitude. “That’s what a man should do.” That’s your mind. How can love grow?”

“At home, the woman is a wife and the man is a husband. Now when these two persons meet there are really four persons: the husband and wife, who are not real persons but just personas, masks, false patterns, expected behavior, duties, and all that, and the real persons hiding behind the masks.

Those real persons feel bored.”

Give and Take in Relationships

"People are more interested in how to grab and get. Everybody is interested in getting and nobody seems to enjoy giving. People give very reluctantly… they always go on watching to make sure they get more than they give—then it is a good bargain, good business. And the other is doing the same.

Give, and don’t wait to see how much you can grab…. In the beginning it will be hard, because your whole life you have been trained not to give but to get. In the beginning you will have to fight with your own armor…. In the beginning it will be difficult, but each step will lead to a further step, and by and by the river starts flowing."

Being Alone versus Being Lonely

"There are two types of love. One is the love that happens when you are feeling lonely: as a need, you go to the other. The other love arises when you are not feeling lonely, but alone. In the first case you go to get something; in the second case you go to give something. A giver is an emperor."

Sex

"Most people’s sexual life is nothing but a kind of relief. Yes, for a moment you feel relieved of a burden, just like a good sneeze. How good it feels afterwards! But for how long? How long can you feel good after a sneeze? How many seconds, how many minutes can you brag that “I had such a sneeze, it was great.” As the sneeze is gone, with it goes all the joy, too. It was simply something bothering you. You are finished with that botheration, now there is a little relaxation. That’s the sexual life of most of the people in the world.

For afterplay to happen it needs a romantic mind, a poetic mind, a mind that knows how to be thankful, how to be grateful. The person, the woman or the man who has brought you to such a climax, needs some gratitude: afterplay is your gratitude. And unless there is afterplay it simply means your sex is incomplete; and incomplete sex is the cause of all the troubles that a human being goes through."

No matter what stage of relationship you're in - whether you're starting one, or ending one, or you happen to be alone - Being in Love will give you fresh perspective on what it  means to make the most out of every relationship and blaze your own trail to true love.

cheers, k photo "Fall in Love ... not in line" by Martinho, on Flickr

music to cook to: C.O.L.O.U.R.S. mixtape by Fonzworth Bentley

Summer is officially over, but here in Georgia we’re still in that weird phase between summer and true fall that I call ‘second summer’. We’ll continue to see temperatures in the 70s and 80s during the day (without the stifling humidity, thank god), and we’ll really only notice it’s fall when the sun sets and temps reach a more autumnal range of 50s and 60s.

As always, I tend to find metaphors for life in nature. As I approach my mid-thirties, I kind of feel like I and all of my peers are entering into our own ‘second summers’. We still have the youthful exuberance and silliness of our 20s, we still like to party and dance like we used to as younguns but, thankfully we’ve traded the stifling atmosphere of the club for the more comfy atmosphere of house parties and private venue shindigs. Our priorities have shifted from student loans and changing majors to mortgage loans and major changes in career, marital, and social status. And though we may still like to booty-shake and drop it like it’s hot, we know better than to do so in public, for fear that someone from the office or the PTA might see.

While cleaning out some files from my digital library this week, I happened upon an obscure and almost-forgotten track I’d saved a couple of years ago. The light party track, “Everybody”, was an unexpected yet effective collaboration among Fonzworth Bentley, Andre 3000, Kanye West, and Sa-Ra Creative Partners. And as you can tell from the video, these guys had a lot of fun working together on it.

As it turns out, “Everybody” is just 1 selection from a 17-track mixtape entitled, “Fonzworth Bentley Presents C.O.L.O.U.R.S. by Derek Watkins”. The mixtape features Fonzworth’s musical collaborations with several heavy hitters, like U.G.K., Faith Evans, Lil’ Wayne and Anthony Hamilton – all artists who came into their own in the 90s. The mixtape obviously never received a lot of press or any airplay; I hadn’t even heard the entire playlist until this week. But as I listened, I realized that the C.O.L.O.U.R.S. mixtape was the perfect ‘second summer’ soundtrack, especially for us Georgia born and bred folk. Once you have a listen, I think you’ll agree that it conjures up all the good times and the party-days of southern summers past, and would make a worthwhile addition to your next house party or an appropriate backdrop for your next “remember when we used to…” conversation.

This musical selection is ideal for:

Georgia representers, A-town stunnas, anybody who ever yelled ‘yeek’ at the club or the talent show, those who partied and/or studied in the AUC in the 90s, and everybody who knew Fonzworth Bentley when he was a Morehouse student named Derek Watkins,

This musical selection pairs perfectly with:

A late afternoon weekend barbecue featuring turkey burgers, veggie skewers and portobello mushroom caps instead of the pork ribs, mystery-meat hot dogs, and beef burgers we downed without consequence when we were younger. Serve with a nice pinot noir or craft beer – not the Icehouse and Arbor Mist that were more appropriate for our as-yet-unexpanded drinking palates and budgets. Okay, okay. You can bring back the old school hunch-punch if you want, but just this once. ;-)

Stream the C.O.L.O.U.R.S.  mixtape for free

Download free tracks from the C.O.L.O.U.R.S. mixtape

Purchase the mixtape on

cheers y’all,

k

what to do (and not to do) in london - part 2

What NOT to do in London – Don’t be afraid to make a mid-course correction After a second night in my (teeny-tiny, hot and noisy, with a shower the size of a coffin) room, I decided I’d had enough and spent a few hours on ye olde trusty laptop looking for new accommodations. On the sightseeing tour, I’d gotten a good enough sense of the city to figure out what would make a suitable location for my relocation. And with the help of my good friends at AirBnB, I landed a spot. For 40 USD less a night.

Air Bed and Breakfast

What to Do in London – Visit Buckingham Palace with a Head of State

Determined to make the most of my 24-hour sightseeing ticket, I got up early to catch the hotel’s breakfast, drop my bags off at the front desk, and head towards Buckingham Palace. I made my way down the Mall, which was decked out with both the Union Jack and the Stars and Stripes in honor of my President’s visit that week. By the time I reached Victoria Memorial in front of the Palace, I had over an hour to wait before the Changing of the Guards ceremony began.  In the meantime, I snapped lots of pics of the Victoria Memorial and the Palace gates and speculated along with the rest of the spectators whether we’d catch a glimpse of the Obamas during their state visit. There was even a reporter doing an on-location broadcast focused on President Obama’s visit.

Buckingham Palace

What to Do in London – Catch the Jazzing of the Guards

Since I was quickly running out of time on my 24-hour ticket, I had to depart Buckingham Palace before the famed Changing of the Guards. Thankfully, I set off in the wrong direction, else I wouldn’t have captured the jazzy branch of the Royal Guard – more formally known as the Band of the Scots Guards – who play just before the Changing of the Guards Ceremony.

These fellows have got a mean brass section. But don’t get it twisted. They will cut you.

What to Do in London – Carry Change for the Pay Toilets

After Buckingham Palace, I decided to take a ‘bio break’ in nearby Victoria Station and had my first experience with a pay toilet. 30 pence to take a ‘rest’.  A most bizarre concept at first, but when I saw how clean the bathrooms were, I considered it to be money well spent.

What NOT to Do in London – Don’t Get Into a Foot Race with Big Ben

With about an hour to spare before my sightseeing ticket expired, I set off to catch the Thames river cruise at Westminster Pier. Since I was still getting my bearings, I had no idea that the pier was less than 1 mile away, so I mistakenly decided to wait about 15 minutes for a tour bus that would take me to the pier. When the bus arrived, the driver informed me that it would take over an hour to reach Westminster Pier, since several London streets were blocked off because of the Obamas’ visit. He also recommended I take the tube instead of walking - a misguided suggestion that I blindly followed. What ensued was a ridiculously unnecessary and comically circuitous journey that involved me departing from Victoria Station, changing to a different line to get to Piccadilly Circus; then speedwalking past Trafalgar Square, and down Whitehall past all the government buildings. Finally, just as I was rounding the bend to head toward the pier, I heard a single gong from Big Ben.  It was 1 o’clock.  My ticket expired at 12:50. Undaunted, I kept up my fast-paced walk toward the pier, and reached the ticket booth a few minutes later.

“Is this where I catch the river cruise with the Original Tour?”

“Yep.”

“I’m a little past my 24 hour ticket time. Is there a grace period or anything?” I flash the ticket booth guy a hopeful smile.

“No, no grace period. When it’s out, it’s out.”

“Oh.” I give him the puppy dog eyes, “Ok, then.” I try to look as if my last hope for living is on that boat.

Him: “What time’s your ticket for then?”

Me: “12:50. What time is it now?”

“1:10.”

I heavy sigh. Wait a tick. Glance wistfully at the dock down below.

“Ehhh, go on then.”

“Really? Thanks!” I flash a cheese-eating grin and nearly skip down to the dock. Slow-footed American- 1, Big Ben -0.

What to Do in London - Take a Cruise on the River Thames

After a morning full of fast-paced walking, it was really nice to take a load off on the Thames river cruise and sit back and enjoy the day’s gorgeous weather. From the river, I was able to get a unique perspective of several landmarks. And the cruise’s guide was as much of a comedian as he was a tour guide. Kinda reminded me of Ali G.

The full cruise lasted over 2 hours, but soon after I boarded, I got a text from my travel mates saying they were having drinks at a patio bar overlooking the Thames. I texted back that I’d meet them in a few, and departed the boat just up-river at the Tower of London.

What to Do in London – Know Your Monuments (aka, Learn the difference between the London Bridge and the Tower Bridge)

My friends told me that their bar was just at the foot of the London Bridge. As I had just floated under it, I was pretty sure I knew where it was and set off in that direction.

Okay folks, here’s a quick test. Which one of these pictures is the London Bridge?

If you said the 1^st one, you’re right! If you said the 2^nd one, you too would have had me walking around in circles for more than 20 minutes trying to figure out which non-existent bar at the foot of the London Bridge you were at, when you were really at the foot of the Tower Bridge. Gah! Moral of the story: knowing your London landmarks is crucial to avoiding such gross misdirection.

Anywho, by the time I arrived, I was tired, hungry, and I needed a drink. Make mine a dark and stormy.

We hung at the bar for a few and caught each other up on the day’s adventures. Soon, it was time for me to go collect my bags and move to my new digs.

What Not to Do in London – Don’t Overpack

For some ungodly reason, I’d broken with my usual travel protocol and brought a full-sized rolling bag for this trip, instead of my usual carry-on sized bag. Big mistake. Lugging that thing around on the tube from King’s Cross to the edge of the East End was not fun. Mainly because escalators and elevators are not a certainty in any London tube station. But long flights of stairs and very narrow entrances and exits are. On a brighter note, my biceps never looked better.

What to Do in London – Stay With a Local

After the misery of lugging my luggage through the London Underground, I was elated to meet my new hosts and absolutely ecstatic when I laid eyes on the bright and cheery room I booked via AirBnB – a definite improvement over my original accommodations. After exchanging warm pleasantries with my hosts – an older couple originally from Chile – I treated myself to a shower and a nice, long nap.

London Bridge (Tower Bridge): Reflection on the River Thames photo by Anirudh Koul - Flickr To be continued...

what to do (and not to do) in london - part 1

This year’s birthday trip was a whirlwind 8-day excursion to London with a weekend trip to Amsterdam thrown in for good measure. Since it was my first time visiting, I decided to put together this collection of do’s and don’ts for others taking their first trip to London.

What to do in London – Consult a native before you go

Pre-trip research is a crucial exercise for any vacation – especially if you’re travelling solo. There’s nothing better than arriving in an unfamiliar city well-armed with tidbits on where to go and what to see. While guidebooks and travel sites offer some decent pointers, advice from a native or long-time resident is infinitely more valuable, since 1) they probably know your personality well enough to tailor sightseeing recommendations, and 2) they can share off-the-beaten-path or less touristy options that guide books and travel sites might skip. For my first trip to London, I truly lucked up on local advice. One of my travel mates had gone to grade school in London, and would be staying with a friend who lived in the city. I also reached out to a few friends and friends of friends who are native Londoners, namely one Darren Benjamin (aka, Daz-I-Kue) who took time out of his busy schedule to give me a stellar list of sights to see, restaurants to visit, and entertainment to take in. And just for good measure, I hit the interwebs and hunted down these London blogs and local papers that gave me and idea of what would be going on in the city during my specific dates of travel:

Visit London Blog

Londonist

UK Travel Tips

Time Out London

What to do in London – Visit a Real English Pub

Just a few hours after I’d arrived in London and settled into my Camden hotel, I met up with my travel mates at a nearby pub that their local host recommended. The pub – called, The Lord Stanley – was just the right size; quaint and cozy with well-aged, mismatched furnishings (a church pew here, some old wooden chairs there), friendly service and a steady flow of locals coming in for a post-work bite or drink. But what was most impressive about the place was the food.  Fish and chips, shepherd’s pie, and mushy peas anywhere were markedly absent from the menu, much to the dismay of my travel companion who had hoped for a more traditional English pub experience.  Our London local assured us that the Lord Stanley was a true neighborhood pub, with expertly prepared gastropub menus items that featured fresh, regional ingredients.

Apparently there’s a small theater nearby, because the Lord Stanley was offering a pre-theater special of two dishes for 12.50 GBP. A pretty solid deal that all of us decided to capitalize on. We ordered food and drinks and sat and talked over pints and other glasses while the pub’s chef worked on delivering these sumptuous dishes to our table.

The Lord Stanley

What NOT to do in London – Don’t stay at the New Market House Inn

On a recommendation from my travel mate’s host, I’d chosen the New Market House Inn as my base of operations for the trip. First, the positives: The New Market House Inn was close to 2 tube stations, and a short walk from where my friends were staying. Compared to most of the London hotels I’d scouted, it was decidedly more budget-friendly, and included daily breakfast. Plus, the ‘inn’ was situated above a fairly nice Brazilian bar/lounge which to me meant two things: on-tap eye candy and caipirinhas! When I checked in to the hotel, I was quite shocked at the size of the room. From online reviews of the New Market House Inn, I’d expected that the rooms would be on the smallish side, but still clean and up to snuff. And while the room was clean, small was definitely an understatement. Miniscule would have been more accurate. My large suitcase took up most of the floor when fully opened. The shower was roughly half the size of a broom closet. I could barely turn around in it without bumping an elbow or shin. Add to all that the fact that the room’s only source of cooling or ventilation was the window that literally touched the side of the bed and opened onto the fairly busy street below.  Said window let in more street noises than actual air, so my first night’s rest was a hot and fitful one. My snoozing was interrupted periodically by screaming sirens, booming, rumble-y diesel trucks, and loud-talking nightwalkers spilling out of neighborhood pubs. After one night at the New Market House, I began to contemplate a move to more fitting digs.

The New Market House Bed & Breakfast

What to Do in London – Get an Oyster Card and a Tube Map

London’s metropolitan rail system, also known as the London Underground and more colloquially referred to as ‘the tube’, makes getting around in London extremely easy and non-intimidating even for first-time visitors. The Underground is clearly divided into color-coded rail lines that cover every major area in central London and links to commuter rails that will take you outside of the city, if you so desire. Armed with my Oyster card – a re-loadable transit ticket – and my pocket-sized tube map, I was all set to tour London like a veteran. When planning trips around London, you should also rely on the Transport for London website which is extremely helpful in helping you figure out the best routes to get from Point A to Point B and all stops in between.

Transport for London website

What to Do in London – Take a Hop on, Hop off Sightseeing Tour

On my second day in London, I met up with my travel mates for a hop-on hop-off tour of London with the Original Tour Company. 23 GBP got us a guided double-decker tour of all the major sites in London, plus a free Thames riverboat cruise. The tickets were good for a full 24 hours so it was an ideal way to get an overview of London and figure out which sites we wanted to see more of later.  In about 2 and half hours we saw…

The Original London Sightseeing Tour

What NOT to do in London – Don’t Fall for Tourist Trap Food

After our London sightseeing tour, we were all a bit hungry so we departed from the bus and went to a nearby eatery featuring the more traditional English pub food my friend had previously expected. I had the fish and chips and a pint of (I-forget-which) beer. Both were exquisitely mediocre. Honestly, Captain D’s would’ve been more thrilling. After our lunch, we hit the streets and took a leisurely stroll down Oxford Street, oohing and aaahing at all the trendy shops and extravagant window displays in one of central London’s premier shopping districts. Eventually, we found ourselves at the entrance of Hyde Park, a sprawling urban greenspace near the Marble Arch.

What to Do in London – Bike through Hyde Park

At the edge of Hyde Park was one of many bike rental stations located throughout the city of London. Anyone can borrow a bike for as little as a few minutes or for as much as a day using an automated rental booth. It’s a brilliant system and we were swift to take advantage of it. Each of us rented a bike (free for the 1^st 30 minutes!) and cycled around the park enjoying the lovely weather and the landscape.

After the bike ride, my friends headed off towards Regent’s Park for dinner near Primrose Hill, while I hopped on the tube back to my room to change and head back out for an evening show.

Hyde Park, London

What to Do in London – Take in a Burlesque Show

In my pre-trip research of little-known things to do in London, I discovered that the Brits are big on burlesque. There are several burlesque-specific venues in London with a host of performers to suit almost any palate. One such venue is Volupte, a burlesque supper club and bar with almost nightly shows. That night’s show was aptly named Burlesque and Blues – a variety-style set featuring 2-3 burlesque performers, a comedic magician, a live band, and a jazz chanteuse. It was the most polished burlesque show I’ve seen to date. Definitely did justice to the genre and made for an entertaining evening that was worth getting all dolled up for. Unfortunately, I couldn’t take any pictures of the burlesque performances.

For my dinner I had a cheese plate and one helluva specialty cocktail called the Porn Star martini – a pleasing concoction of vanilla vodka, passionfruit puree, and magic fairy sprinkles served with a champagne sidecar.

After the show, a dj came on and began playing a nice selection of 80s and old soul tunes as people migrated to the upstairs bar.  My waitress suggested I go upstairs as well and see Mike the Bartender, tell him I’d had the Porn Star, and have him whip up a bespoke cocktail to suit my tastes. I did just that, and after the DJ finished his set he joined me, two other birthday girls celebrating, and Mike the Bartender for a couple of hours of witty banter, drinks, and idle chatter at the bar. During our conversation, it was discovered that Mike’s real name was Mike the Opera Singing Bartender, on account of the fact that he’d studied to be an opera singer. At a university…  in Texas. Go figure. Here’s a little taste of one of Mike the Opera Singing Bartender’s many talents.

Volupte London Burlesque Cabaret

To be continued...

London, England photo by TJ Morris - Flickr

4 food network hosts i love to hate

While I don’t watch the Food Network nearly as much as I used to, I still find myself lingering on that channel more than most others. Yet these 4 Food Network hosts will have me hunting for the remote control faster than you can spell EVOO.  

#1 - Rachael Ray

Rachael Ray makes me think of mayonnaise and Wonder Bread - two things that instantly make me retch just at the mention of them. Her nasally accent, her annoying little sayings, aka Rachael Ray-isms, like: yummo, easy-peasy, sammie, stoup, and delish; plus her uber-flat pronunciation of anything that sounds remotely foreign is enough to make my ears bleed. Frankly, those so-called 30 minute meals aren’t exactly time savers if it involves an additional 30 minutes for me to clean up all the blood and vomit expelled from my facial orifices after watching the filth-flarn show.

Now don’t get me wrong - I respect Rachael’s entrepreneurial gangsta and all. This woman is a brand that rivals Martha and Oprah, and there’s a lot to be said for that. Plus, when she’s off camera, she actually seems to be a lot more palatable. But her over-the-top onscreen personality earns her the top spot on the list of Food Network stars I love to hate.

Not to mention she kinda reminds me of Audrey Griswold from National Lampoon’s European vacation.

#2 - Sandra Lee

Sandra Lee is a fembot with faulty wiring. I’m certain that if this alleged woman were dissected, there would be no human organs found inside, only clock parts, glue, and popsicle sticks. This ‘woman’ and the food she cooks is an abomination. She is the representation of everything that is going wrong in American kitchens today. The majority of what she cooks is processed or pre-packaged food that comes out of a can or box, like I assume she did. And if I had to guess, I’d say her internal workings are fueled by alcohol, since the only time on her awful show when she looks even remotely lifelike is when she’s preparing a cocktail to drown out the taste of the plastic food she’s prepared. And don’t even get me started on those tablescapes. Look, I love a nice decorative table theme, but the stuff she puts out there looks like an android’s interpretation of human celebratory rituals.

In this video clip of Sandra Lee outtakes, she slips up and reveals that SHE (not just her food) is semi-homemade. Also note the hefty supply of fembot fuel on the table. Just saying.

#3 - The Chairman’s Nephew

Take a Benihana hibachi cook and put him in a well-tailored suit, and you’ve got The Chairman’s Nephew. As if Iron Chef America wasn’t awful enough with such inspired secret ingredients as… CHEESE, Food Network had to go and get this clown and dare to pass him off as the nephew of Chairman Kaga – the original host of Iron Chef Japan. First off, this dude is NOT Chairman Kaga’s nephew. He’s a martial arts movie actor, whose real name is Mark Dacascos. He’s starred in such stellar cinematic offerings as: Only the Strong, Double Dragon, and Kickboxer 5. And even if he was the Chairman’s real-life nephew, I’m sure Kaga in his infinite wisdom would have disowned him long ago. Secondly, the Chairman’s nephew’s presence on Iron Chef America is entirely unnecessary. He adds nothing to the show other than weird, cartoonish facial expressions and backflips that I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take seriously or if I should be offended by how stereotypically ‘Asian’ they are.

Though when not in his well-tailored suit, I have to admit, the Chairman’s nephew is kinda sexy. Yet even at his sexiest, he’s still not nearly as sexy as Chairman Kaga. Rawr.

[Sidenote: why the %&#@! does the Food Network dub Masaharu Morimoto’s voice on Iron Chef America? That’s just rude.]

#4 - Sunny Anderson

Lacefront wigs are a menace to society, and no one is immune to their horrendous effect on black women’s hairlines. Not even Sunny Anderson. I have to be honest, I really have no idea what Sunny cooks like or what Sunny talks about because every time I see her on TV, all of my other senses are rendered useless by the insurmountable distraction that is her hair. What the heck  is up with Sunny’s HAIR!? Did she borrow it from Sandra Lee? Is she recovering from chemo? I mean c’mon Food Network, there are only two brown women on the whole bloody station, and you can’t hook a sister up with a better stylist, or at least a lacefront in a color that isn’t the exact same color of her skin? Really? Really!?

What Food Network hosts do you love or love to hate? Share ‘em in the comments.

cheers,

k

inappropriate dinner conversation: the curious case of the Cherokee Freedmen

The year is 1983. 6 men arrive at a voting precinct in Oklahoma. The men are of varying ages and statures, but there is at least one trait that they all share. They are all black. As they approach the door of the precinct, their leader, a Reverend called Nero, issues a quick word of encouragement to his band of braves. The men steady their nerves and their resolves. Not one of them is sure what may happen next.

It only takes a few moments for it to all be over. The men return to their vehicles, not a single vote cast among them. They have been turned away from the polls this day for the simple fact that only citizens of this nation are allowed to vote. And, because they are black, these men are not considered citizens.

Though the details in the story above were imagined, the story itself is very much based on actual events that happened in these United States in the far, far away state of Oklahoma in the long ago time of 1983.

The men in the story are descendants of a little-known group of people referred to as the Black Freedmen. Once owned as slaves by wealthy and usually mixed-race Cherokees, the Black Freedmen were emancipated and granted full citizenship in the Cherokee Nation in an 1866 treaty between the Cherokees and the US government. Since then, the Black Freedmen’s story of equal acceptance into the Cherokee Nation has been a twisted one fraught with legal entanglements, questions of culture and identity, and sturdy allegations of fraud and good ol’ American racism.

I’d really never heard of the Black Freedmen until a Facebook friend of mine shared an article from MSNBC outlining the most recent in a long history of legal battles between the Black Freedmen and the Cherokee Nation. Like many of you might have, I’d heard stories of Blacks and Natives intermarrying and having children together, but I never knew that there was an established and officially recognized group of Blacks that were considered Cherokees – by blood or by naturalization. I’d venture to say it was left out of my required history classes as a young lass.

But after reading the article, it quickly turned from a curious little historical sidenote, into a current-day political conundrum that threatens the concepts of sovereignty and democracy that define our modern government, and brings back into focus basic civil rights issues that, before now, I naively believed had long ago been put to rest in this country.

After a little research, I was able to piece together the following timeline of the Black Freedman’s history from various sources (Gawd, I love the Internets!).

1863 – Cherokee Nation officially abolishes slavery; Some Cherokees who side with the Confederacy continue to hold slaves and fight against the Union in the Civil War

1866 – The Cherokees sign a treaty with post-Civil war US government extending Cherokee citizenship and enfranchisement rights to the freedmen and their descendants. The Cherokee Nation Constitution is amended to reflect the treaty’s language concerning freedmen’s rights.

1880 – The Cherokee Nation conducts a census to assist with the distribution of proceeds from sales of Cherokee land. Cherokee freedmen are excluded from the census and thereby, the distribution of proceeds.

1888 – US government passes An Act to secure to the Cherokee Freedmen and others their proportion of certain proceeds of lands.

1896 – US government commissions the Kern-Clifton roll to identify Cherokee Freedmen that were entitled to Cherokee land sale proceeds. The Kern-Clifton roll identifies 5,600 Cherokee Freedmen.

1902-1906 – The Dawes Commission, enacted by the US government, requires registration of American Indians. The Dawes Rolls classifies individuals as either: Indians by blood, intermarried whites, or Freedmen. Dawes commissioners generally listed all visibly black people as freedmen regardless of Cherokee blood ancestry that would have otherwise qualified some as ‘Indians by blood’. The Dawes roll lists 4,924 Freedmen.

1970s - Under pressure from Indian activists, the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) begins to provide certain benefits, such as free health care, to members of federally recognized tribes. As citizens, Cherokee Freedmen are also eligible for benefits.

1983 - Ross O. Swimmer, then Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation, issues an executive order requiring Cherokee Nation citizens to have a "Certificate of Degree of Indian Blood" (CDIB) card in order to vote. CDIB cards were issued by the BIA based on those listed on the Dawes Rolls as ‘Indians by blood’. Rev. Robert H. Nero and 5 other Cherokee Freedmen are turned away from polls when they attempt to vote in the 1983 tribal election.

1984 – Rev. Nero and his associates file a class action lawsuit on the basis of racial discrimination against the United States, the Office of the President, the Department of the Interior, the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the tribal election committee, and Principal Chief Ross Swimmer.

1989 – The court rules against Rev. Nero and fellow plaintiffs, citing jurisdictional issues.

2001 - Bernice Riggs, a Freedmen descendant, sues the tribal registrar for citizenship based on blood ancestry. The Judicial Appeals Tribunal (now the Cherokee Nation Supreme Court) rules that Riggs adequately documented her Cherokee blood ancestry, but ultimately denies Riggs citizenship because her ancestors were listed only as Freedmen on the Dawes Rolls, not as ‘Indians by blood’.

2006 - The Cherokee Nation Supreme Court rules in favor of Freedman descendant Lucy Allen. The ruling concludes that acts barring Freedmen descendants from tribal membership are unconstitutional , since the 1975 Cherokee Constitution did not exclude Freedmen from citizenship, nor did it have a blood requirement for membership in the tribe.

And this is where the real fun begins.

After generations of being bounced back and forth between Cherokee and non-Cherokee statuses, the Black Freedmen finally regained their constitutional rights as Cherokee citizens in 2006. But before the Freedman could even get out a rousing refrain of ‘We Shall Overcome’, what happened?

The Cherokees changed the Constitution.

Damn.

In a series of political moves with dubious ethical connotations, high-ranking Cherokee leaders swiftly drafted a petition for a special election that would allow the Cherokee Constitution to be amended to exclude Black Freedmen as citizens. Despite accusations by some tribal leaders that signatures on the petition were forged, the required signatures were obtained, and in 2007, the Cherokee Nation voted to expel the Freedmen from the nation.

Double damn.

Advocates of expelling the Freedmen openly used racist rhetoric to rally voter support. In tribal leader Darren Buzzard’s 2007 email, he urged Cherokees, “Don’t let black freedmen back you into a corner. PROTECT CHEROKEE CULTURE FOR OUR CHILDREN. FOR OUR DAUGHTER[S] . . . FIGHT AGAINST THE INFILTRATION."

Buzzard and others on his side of this issue contend that such inflammatory language is a matter of tribal pride, not racism. But proponents of the Freedmen cause, like professional genealogist and author Angela Walton-Raji, declared, “It is the blackness of the Freedmen descendants that is despised, NOT the love of those with Cherokee blood.”

And boy is that Cherokee blood valuable. Even Buzzard knows that. In his email, he also cautioned his Cherokee tribesmen, saying, “They will suck you dry.” The ‘they’ Buzzard referred to were the Freedmen. But suck them dry of what, exactly?

Maybe Buzzard was referring to the Cherokee Nation’s share in the 20-plus-billion-dollar-a-year American Indian gaming industry. Or maybe he was talking about the estimated $300 million of funds that the Cherokee Nation receives annually from the federal government. That’s right. Every year. $300 million. From your democracy-loving, tax-paying pockets.

Luckily, some folks at the Congressional Black Caucus pulled the Cherokee Nation’s card on trying to have its cake and eat it too. In 2007, Rep. Diane Watson of California and several other Black Caucus members introduced a bill that sought to sever the Cherokee Nation’s federal recognition, strip the Cherokee Nation of their $300 million-a-year federal bankroll, and stop the Cherokee Nation’s gaming operations if the tribe failed to honor the Treaty of 1866.

In other words, Diane counted coup on that ass.

The Cherokees’ reply to the bill was essentially, ‘Why are you picking on us, when everyone else is doing it too?’ The official response from then Chief Chad Smith claimed that the bill was “in retaliation for this fundamental principle that is shared by more than 500 other Indian tribes.” In a compromise between Congressional Black Caucus members and their American Indian counterparts, the bill was later modified to allow the Cherokee Nation to continue receiving federal funding as long as some settlement is reached in lawsuits concerning the Freedmen’s citizenship.

As of the writing of this post, at least one of those lawsuits is still pending, and will be heard in a Washington, D.C. court beginning Tuesday, September 20. Attorneys are asking a judge to restore voting rights for the ousted Cherokee Freedmen in time for the September 24 tribal election for Principal Chief. That lawsuit will mark another – and possibly the final – chapter in the Black Freedman of the Cherokee Nation’s fight for citizenship.

Yet even now, the brazenly exclusionary and racist dialogue regarding ‘outsider Indians’ continues. In a post dated June 14, 2011 on the Native American news and entertainment site Indianz.com, Wambli Sina Win, an individual who has held positions in both Native and U.S. legal systems, including Tribal Judge for the Oglala Sioux Tribal Court, an Assistant U.S. Attorney, and legal Instructor for the U.S. Indian Police Academy, writes why ‘Tribes should protect their Indian bloodline”:

“Have you ever seen a wild buffalo on its own, seek out another species with which to mate when there are other wild buffalo around? If the buffalo have sense enough to stay with its own kind, why is it so difficult for our young Lakota men and women…?”

“This was a choice by the minimum blood’s ancestors to breed the Indian blood out and to diminish the bloodline.”

“We don’t need parasites who contribute nothing to our people enjoying the benefits of what our ancestors fought and died to protect.”

Though Win’s treatise on racial purity doesn’t specifically mention blacks or the Cherokee Freedmen (ironically enough, her ire is directed mostly towards mixed-race White and Mexican Indians), it doesn’t take much of an imagination to infer that they probably aren’t excluded from her perceived threats to a pure Indian heritage. And clearly, her sentiments aren’t so shocking or outmoded that Indianz.com felt that their readers would be in the least offended by them.

But leaving issues of race aside, there are several other issues about the Cherokee Freedmen story that deserve serious scrutiny:

The Issues of Sovereignty and Democracy

The Cherokee Nation contends that the US government should have no say in who they decide to grant citizenship to, because they are a sovereign nation with their own government and laws and whatnot. A valid point. At least, it would be a valid point had the Cherokee Nation not shot itself in the foot on the issue of sovereignty when it filed lawsuits against individual Freedmen descendants in Federal court back in 2009. In doing so, the Cherokees willfully pierced the sovereign veil. So now the US courts actually do have a right to be all up in their sovereign business.

The Cherokees also argue that they should be able to change their Constitution. But their 1866 treaty with the US says otherwise. The treaty states that the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) must approve amendments to the Cherokee Constitution. The Cherokee voted a few years back to remove the requirement for BIA approval, but in a mobius-loop of logic, that vote isn’t valid unless the BIA approves the decision that it shouldn’t be able to approve such decisions. Yeeeah.

The Civil Rights Issue

The US has declared embargos, sung songs, and even gone to war against other sovereign nations that have committed similar acts of disenfranchisement and discrimination against their citizens. Not only are the Cherokees committing these acts, they’re doing it on US soil and they’re doing with $300 million dollars of annual federal funds. Now that’s gangsta.

The Moral Issue

Many members of the Cherokee Nation rightfully claim that America has a lasting moral debt to American Indians for effectively swindling them out of their lands using largely genocidal tactics; Yet, the Cherokee Nation is now attempting to skip out on the moral debt it owes – and previously agreed to pay - for the reprehensible and genocidal practice that was slavery.

Insert pot and kettle reference here.

The 'Why Do these People Care?' Issue

Actually, I’m not sure if this is an issue. But my Facebook friend who originally shared the MSNBC article posed this question to me:

“You ask great questions especially in regards to the Civil Rights aspects but I have a greater question, why would one group of people who were enslaved not only by Europeans but by these same native groups they want to cling too, want to be associated in any way with them? If you have no real cultural tie to them what's the big fuss?”

As far as I’m concerned, a victim of oppression or injustice doesn’t need to have a good reason for wanting to not be oppressed or… er… injusticed.  Yet if I wanted to speculate on a reason, I’d readily turn to Martin Luther King or W.E.B. DuBois and their respective debates with Malcolm X and Booker T. Washington on the issues of black integration during the Civil Rights and Reconstruction eras.

But again, thanks to the amazingness of the Internets, I don’t have to speculate. I can get perspectives from those directly affected by the issue. Like this quote from a Cherokee Freedman who was interviewed in 1996 by anthropologist Circe Sturm:

“It is ridiculous to allow White people to take advantage of Indian programs because they have blood on a tribal roll a hundred years ago, when a Black person who suffers infinitely more discrimination and needs the aid more is denied it because his Indian ancestry is overshadowed by his African ancestry....  Either the  descendants  of  freedmen  should  be  allowed  to take advantage  of benefits,  or the federal government,  not  these cliquish  tribes,  should  set  new  standards for who  is  an  Indian-and  save  [themselves]  some  money.”

…and this snippet from an NPR interview with Shonda Buchanan, a Freedman descendant whose visible blackness has gotten her harassed at tribal celebrations where mixed-race, lighter-skinned Cherokees were fully welcomed:

“It's who I am. I don't know, sometimes I feel like, you know, I'm going to sit at that counter. I'm going to drink out of that water fountain, you know? This is a heritage that my people have. And I wasn't raised on a reservation, but I was raised knowing I was black and Indian.”

… or this perspective, appropriately listed under the heading ‘Why’ on the Freedmen’s website:

“It seems inconceivable that in the 21^st century, anyone would have the concept that an individual with some African ancestry should only be able to claim that ancestry. This is not the case with other individuals of mixed ancestry; no one such as an individual with Chinese-Korean heritage or a Choctaw-Chickasaw heritage has to pretend he only has one lineage or should learn about one of his 2 heritages. The "one drop of blood concept", obliterating all other ancestry only exists for people of African descent.  Furthermore, many people of black-Indian ancestry have more knowledge of their Indian ancestors than their ancestors who lived in Africa or who originally arrived in the United States.”

***

Most people prefer plots that are easy to follow. We like clear delineations of who is the good guy and who is the bad guy, and we especially like it if those delineations match our long-held perceptions of bad guys and good guys. It’s for this reason that most people seem to only be comfortable dealing with issues of race in terms of black and white. But the lingering spectre of racism – particularly institutionalized racism – is much more nuanced, much more complex today. In our allegedly post-racial society, we’ve at least identified if not done away with most of the glaringly racist issues concerning blacks and whites in the United States, but as they say, the devil’s in the details. There are a myriad of these ‘long tail’ racial injustices and race-based inequalities – like that of the racial wealth gap, or the troubling case of Troy Davis, or even the treatment of minorities in Europe as recently highlighted by London’s riots – that still remain and still deserve our attentions. But, rest assured, they will not be easy to fix. Mainly because the longer a sticky issue has been around, the harder it is to unstick once you finally do get around to fixing it. And these issues have been around for hundreds and hundreds of years.

For now, the curious case of the Cherokee Freedmen issue remains unsolved, and the even curiouser questions keep pinging around in my little head:

How can the Cherokee Nation decide to be sovereign when it wants to make its own laws, but relinquish its sovereignty when it wants to use the US justice system to enforce Cherokee laws that are in direct opposition to the laws of the US?

How is it moral, ethical, or legal for the Cherokee Nation to give the Freedmen citizenship and then take it back when it’s more financially or politically convenient for them to do so?

You know, now that I think about it, there’s a term for people who do things like that.

But I won’t say it. ‘Cause that… would be racist.

cheers,

k

Want to get involved in the story?

Support the Cherokee Freedmen

Get more info on the September 20 Cherokee Freedmen trial

Follow the upcoming Cherokee Nation election

Read more about the history of Black Indians in the US